ABC Worlds
by Reizbar-Ookami
Summary: An alphabetical collection of Cleon, just to get back into the swing of things. :D
1. A is for Agrabah: T

A is for Agrabah

"…Don't you say _one word,_" Leon hissed, eyes narrowing as he saw the blond's mouth open.

Cloud smiled. "How can I not? I mean—"

"I will stab you through the gut. It may not kill you, but at least it'll debilitate you for a few days and you won't get _any sex_ at all."

The blond frowned. "That's not very nice."

"I'm wearing something that looks like it came out of Princess Jasmine's closet! I think I'm entitled to being a little mean!" the brunet snarled, motioning toward the black version of Princess Jasmine's pants and shirt—which he felt did not cover enough of him and, though light and airy as to prevent heat stroke, he would have preferred his heavy leather.

"…Don't forget the cute little silver slippers," Cloud added, smiling, before letting out a yelp as the brunet smacked him in the back of his head. "Ow!"

"Just for that, I hope a camel spits in your face!" Leon hissed, then began stomping away.

The blond blinked in surprise before hurrying after him. "Camels spit?"

"_Yes,_ Cloud, they spit. Sort of like llamas."

"Llamas spit!"

"YES."

"…I've never seen a camel. Is their spit poisonous?"

"…I swear, sometimes you really make me want to kill myself." The gunblader sighed and came to a stop. "Just… don't tell Yuffie about this. She'd never let me live it down."

Cloud smiled brightly. "I'll keep my mouth shut as long as I can take advantage of you in that outfit!"

Leon blushed a little, honestly startled, before he glared at him and angrily hissed, "_Camel spit!_"

"Ma'am, is this man bothering you?"

The brunet turned in confusion, then blushed even more. "Oh, God, not you."

Aladdin blinked at him in surprise, then tilted his head in confusion. "…Leon?"

"Shut up. Just _shut up_ and ignore what I'm wearing." So saying, he huffed and crossed his arms.

"…Well, I have the books you wanted to borrow," Jasmine stated after an awkward silence. "If you want to come to the palace and get them."

Leon sighed. "Please." He hesitated, then smirked and turned to Aladdin. "Aladdin, could you possibly show Cloud some camels? He's never seen one before and he wants to know what they look like."

Aladdin rubbed the back of his head in confusion but shrugged nonetheless. "Sure, I don't see why not."

"Thanks."

Twenty minutes later, Leon could only chuckle to himself as a loud, outraged squawk rang out from the menagerie. He could only assume that that was the same sound Cloud had made the first time a chocobo had tried to court him; he didn't really know, as Tifa was the only one that could remember it, but she still cackled about if from time to time.

And he could only assume that Cloud had learned firsthand that camels really _could_ spit and that their spit was _not_ poisonous—by way of actually aggravating a camel into spitting in his face.


	2. B is for Bailey: M

B is for Bailey

Leon groaned quietly and tried halfheartedly to shove his ardent lover away, even as he tilted his head to the side to allow him more access to his neck. "Cloud, really…?"

"I missed you," the blond mumbled, hands dipping down to untuck the other man's shirt. "Do you know what it's like, being stuck at the Coliseum with Yuffie?"

The brunet huffed. "Yes."

Cloud paused, then chuckled and began kissing along his jaw. "I suppose you would." Sliding his hand beneath his shirt, he hummed quietly as the brunet's abs rippled beneath his fingers and shoved him even more firmly against the wall. "And I'm sure you've been there much longer than two weeks, too. I could never manage more than that."

"Ah… No… God, Cloud, someone might come and see…" Leon moaned and jerked his hips forward as the younger man's other hand slid around to cup his ass. "I don't want anyone to see…"

"No one will," the blond promised, before he slid to his knees and focused on undoing all of his belts. "Trust me."

"God, if anyone does, I swear—" the gunblader began, only to yip as his ass was suddenly given a pinch. "Ow! _Cloud—_"

Cloud purred and nuzzled his crotch lovingly, finally peeling the leather down the other man's thighs. "It looks like you missed me too, kitten…"

Leon gasped quietly and tossed his head back as the blond licked the head of his erection, digging his hands into his hair quickly. "Cloud! Please—"

"You know, someone might come to see if you're in trouble with all the noise you're making," the blond commented innocently, gripping the older man's hips tightly before he leaned in and immediately sucked the brunet's shaft down his throat.

"_Oh my fucking God!_" Leon immediately lifted a hand to clamp over his mouth, struggling to arch his hips despite the iron grip keeping them immobile. "Mm-!" He fell back against the wall and moaned helplessly. "Mm…!" His breath hitched as he felt the blond's fingers at his entrance. "Mm-! Cl-Cloud—"

Cloud hummed and slid a couple fingers into him, making an inquisitive sound when he found the brunet already slick and stretched. Pulling away from him for a moment, he smirked and glanced up at the older man's face. "Looks like you missed me a lot more then you let on, kitten."

"Nn, fuck—sh-shut up!" The brunet whimpered helplessly as the swordsman's fingers immediately delved deeper, hitting the spot that sent delicious thrums of fire up his spine. "Cloud…!"

"Just lie back and let me love you, Leon," the blond murmured, before once again drawing his lover's erection into his mouth.

Leon moaned and bit his bottom lip, rocking his hips back to meet the blond's thrusting fingers. "Mm… Cloud…" He gasped as he felt the fingers twist in an entirely new manner that sent an extra jolt of pleasure through his body, making him forget every other thought but, _'Where'd he learn to do __**that?**__'_

Cloud hummed smugly and twisted his fingers again, reveling in the kittenish mewls that escaped the gunblader's throat. One of the things he'd missed most during his visit at the Coliseum was the sounds his lover made when he touched him, and not just sexually; he missed the way he sighed when they cuddled, the way he growled when he got angry, the way he sighed and rolled his eyes in frustration. Now that he had him in his arms again, he had every intention of drawing out each and every one of his delicious noises.

"Cloud-! Cloud, I'm going to—Please, I—" Leon clapped his hand over his mouth again to smother a long, drawn-out groan as another spearing of fingers brought him to climax into the blond's hot mouth. "_Mmm!_"

The swordsman pulled back with a slurp and smiled as he looked up at the brunet's dazed expression. "You were touching yourself earlier. I'm going to assume you didn't get the message from Aerith until after?"

"…Shut up…" Leon ordered breathlessly, only to moan when the blond's fingers twitched inside of him. "_Cloud…_"

Cloud stood up and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his throat. "I really missed you—and not just the sex. I missed carrying you to bed when you fell asleep at your desk, missed the way you scowl at me when I piss you off… I missed the way you shoo me out of the kitchen so you can cook, the way you get all riled up when I tease you… I really _did_ miss you."

The brunet sighed and rolled his eyes but hugged him back nonetheless. "I guess I missed you too. I did sort of enjoy the peace and quiet, but I like having my sparring partner."

"Mm, _yes._ All of the fighters at the Coliseum were weak and totally not worth my effort or time. At least _you_ provide a challenge…"

"Cloud! Leon!"

Cloud's eyes shot down to the older man's still opened pants, then let out a snarl and curled around his body protectively, turning his head to look at his 'attacker.' "WHAT?"

Sora paused in his tracks, blinking innocently as he was faced with an exasperated-looking Leon who was currently being hidden behind a possessive-looking Cloud. After a moment, he pointed over his shoulder. "I'm just gonna… go wait at Merlin's house until you guys are done doing… whatever it is you're doing. …You're glowing at me, Cloud," he added, frowning, before turning to go back down the stairs.

"…You don't have to treat me like a complete _girl_ you know," Leon snapped, shoving the blond away so he could fix his pants. "And you don't have to get so pissed your eyes glow if it's just Sora."

Cloud huffed. "_No one_ should be seeing you naked but me."

"Okay, number one, _I_ am the judge of who sees me naked, not you," the brunet stated, glaring at him. "Number two, I wasn't completely naked and Sora has had the misfortune of walking in on us before anyway, so it doesn't really matter if he saw me with my pants unzipped since he's seen me completely naked anyway! And number _three,_ you shouldn't be looking at anybody with glowing eyes but me!" So saying, he huffed and stalked over to the stairs. "Possessive jerk."

"_I'm_ the possessive jerk? You just said that—Hey. You just said that I shouldn't look at anyone with glowing eyes but you…"

Leon paused at the top of the steps to turn another glare on him. "_I_ know what I said. After all you said about missing me, I figure you shouldn't be looking at anybody with glowing eyes but me—because I can't tell whether they're glowing because you're horny or glowing because you're pissed. And until I can tell the difference, don't let your eyes glow for anyone else!"

Cloud blinked as the brunet stalked down the steps, then couldn't help a smile. It was nice to see the possessive side of Leon every once in a while.


	3. C is for Coliseum: T

C is for Coliseum

Cloud had never really cared for people in general after his world had been covered in darkness. This anti-care attitude only increased when he somehow managed to make the idiot mistake of signing a contract with Hades in the Coliseum. His way of dealing with this was to have nothing to do with other people whatsoever. In fact, the most contact he had with anyone besides Hades or Hercules (one of which he ignored and the other of which he only fought in the tournaments, respectively) was Phil. Even then, it was only for tournament details.

That's why he almost punted the stupid goat when he mentioned a sparring partner. "I don't spar. I don't practice. I don't people."

Phil scowled at him. "Hey, my math may have problems sometimes, but I know that 'people' ain't a verb!" When the blond only growled in response, he held up his hands in a placatory manner. "Hey, take it easy. This new guy just arrived and wanted to size up his competition. Listen, it's just this once, okay?"

Cloud had every intention of punting him this time, and had even drawn his leg back to do so, but his attention was caught by a quiet but still firm voice. "Phil, is it possible for Yuffie to have a separate room? I appreciate your wanting to help me protect her in case she pisses off the wrong people, but she snores. And if I get up in the middle of the night and startle her accidentally, she throws her shuriken at me and screams curses at me in Japanese. I don't want to deal with that for two weeks."

The man was tall, with such good posture that Cloud cringed a little at the thought of having to stand that straight all the time. He had long brown hair and steely gray eyes, sharp in a way that the blond hadn't seen in a long time; there was a sternness there, but at the same time, a gentleness. He looked like a tough-love kind of guy—and the tight leather he was wearing showed how muscular he was, though in a more compact sort of way; he had the muscles of a fighter using agility in form rather than power. His sword hung at his side, hand resting on it in a casual manner, but Cloud could tell that if he even made one wrong move, that sword would be up and at his throat in a manner of milliseconds.

And the belts. He had a lot of them. Cloud liked belts. He especially liked having enough to completely immobilize his bedmates. This man was not yet his bedmate, but he planned to seduce him immediately.

Phil had been talking while he'd been sizing up his prey. "—A room right next to yours, I suppose. Oh, and bad news. Cloud says he ain't interested in sparring with ya. But I can talk to Herc and see if he'll—"

"I'll spar," Cloud cut in, startling the satyr and making the brunet turn and raise an eyebrow at him skeptically. "Now that I see he's not a complete joke of a swordsman," he added when the brunet's gaze turned from skeptical into offended.

The goat-man glared at him. "Ya know what? I got two words t' describe ya! Cra! Zy!"

The brunet blinked. "…Phil, that's only one—"

"Math is not his strong suit." The swordsman smirked. "So, when did you want that sparring match?"

"…I'll… go tell Yuffie where I'm going, and then we can spar," he replied after a moment. He held his hand out to shake. "Leon."

Cloud reached out to grasp it. "I'm Cloud. And if you laugh about my name, I swear, I won't even let you try to beat me in a spar."

Leon glared at him. "Don't _let_ me do anything, otherwise there would be no point in sparring. And the name Cloud isn't that bad. …There are far worse."

"Alright. So, we'll meet in the arena?"

"…Sure," the gunblader answered after a moment. "I'll meet you out there." Cloud watched him turn to leave, intent on watching his leather pants cup his trim legs and rear, but was foiled when the brunet added, "Don't stare at my ass."

.-.-.-.-.-.

FOILED. AGAIN.

Cloud had to admit, Leon was a surprisingly good fighter. He'd proved it with the amount of small cuts littered across the blond's torso and only the few across his arms from where Cloud had managed to nick him as he darted away. All of his darting had made him hot enough in his leather that he'd striped of his jacket and shirt, but he was moving around too much to ogle properly! How was he supposed to seduce him if he couldn't ogle him first!

This would never do.

Leon jerked in surprise as the blond's sword clashed with his with more force than before, making his gunblade resonate so violently that it hurt to hold on. He tried to keep his grip on it, but another clanging of swords had him dropping it and springing backward. He was uncomfortable without his sword, though, so he lunged forward, rolled, grabbed his sword on the way up, then turned back to him sharply.

Then, he was stunned when the other man grabbed his hair, jerked him forward, and suddenly found his confused yelp smothered by another pair of lips.

Cloud dropped his sword and slid his arm around the brunet's waist to better take advantage of the situation, delving his tongue past the lax lips and attacking the stunned man's mouth.

Suddenly his wing was yanked and he then found himself crumpled in a pathetic heap on the floor, leathery wing twitching spasmodically in pain as the brunet stomped away, grumbling under his breath about 'pervert bat-winged bastards' and 'ninjas being right all the time.'


	4. D is for Destiny Islands: T

D is for Destiny Islands

"I find that I have an extreme dislike for this world."

"You have an extreme dislike for any world that isn't your original one," Leon replied, rolling his eyes. "We're here because Aerith and Tifa told us in no uncertain terms to take a break from fighting Heartless, and Sora said that the Destiny Islands were relaxing and Heartless-free. I, personally, like being alive, which I know I wouldn't be if I did not spend at least a week away from Radiant Garden before I returned, because Aerith and Tifa are just that scary. But please, if you absolutely hate it here, take the gummi ship. Just remember to come back for me."

Cloud grumbled and crossed his arms, sinking into his seat petulantly as the brunet unpacked their bags for their stay. "I'll _stay._"

"Oh, how kind of you." The older man rolled his eyes and sighed, then frowned. "Are you going with me to go shopping with Sora and Kairi, or are you going to mope around the hotel room?"

"Mope." At the almost hurt expression he received for his answer, the blond sighed as well and stood up. "I'm _kidding._ I'll go… _shop…_ with you."

Leon scowled. "Don't make it sound like such a death sentence. We're going to buy some souvenirs for everyone back home, get a bite to eat, and then come back to the hotel. I mean, I don't want to do anything more after all that flying."

Cloud sighed again. "I just can't imagine that Kairi and Sora _won't_ drag us around shopping for much longer than we want to. Sora seems like the type to agree with her anytime she wants to go inside a store and look around, and you can turn into _quite_ the diva sometimes."

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. Besides, I don't think you have to worry, because Riku will be there. If worst comes to worst, you can sulk with him while the rest of us are having fun." The brunet smiled a little. "I mean, I just want to get everyone's souvenirs out of the way so we can relax the rest of the week—in a manner of speaking, anyway."

They both knew it would be impossible for them to relax completely—they were _warriors_, after all, so even when asleep, there was still some level of paranoia. But… they could tone down their instincts to always be on guard a little. Cloud had wondered what a paopu margarita tasted like (because margaritas were _not_ just foofy women's drink, _thank you_), and Leon had to admit he sort of just wanted to spend a day lazing on the beach.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud couldn't tell if he liked his paopu margarita. It was a little too sweet for him—but that sweetness clearly covered the bitterness of the alcohol, the taste of which he disliked. Well, he still had until the slush was gone until he had to decide—

LEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOON.

Cloud almost dropped the glass his margarita was in. If he had, though, he wouldn't have complained, because there was Leon stretched out on one of the hotel's deck chairs, his hands behind his head, one of his legs bent at the knee, dressed in nothing but his swim trunks that he'd just bought yesterday (because Radiant Garden suffered from a lack of a large enough body of water to swim in, so they'd had no reason to ever own any). And this left in view how muscular he was at the same time it exposed his pretty-pretty deliciously smooth make-Cloud-want-to-drool skin.

Aw, forget wanting to. The blond could already feel himself salivating.

Clearing his throat quietly, he walked over to sit in the chair directly beside his and set the glass on the table between them. "I can't tell whether I like it or not."

"Mm." Leon hummed quietly and shrugged a little. "You've always been picky about your drinks." He sighed in content, then sat up straight, turning to look at him. "Do you mind if I take a sip? It's warm out here."

"…What? Yes. No. I mean, no, I don't mind."

The brunet stared at him for a moment, concerned. When the younger man only smiled at him with a silent 'I'm-okay-don't-worry' expression, however, he turned his attention to the yellow drink. Taking a moment to brush the remaining salt off the part Cloud had been drinking from, he took a sip of the alcoholic beverage.

He paused to decide whether he liked the sweetness of it, then hummed in approval and took another sip. "I like it."

"…Uh huh." Cloud blinked, then glanced down at the table at the bottle of sunscreen he hadn't until then noticed. "What's that for?"

Leon snorted and set the drink back down. "You've got mako, so you don't have to worry about it. _I,_ on the other hand, have to worry about sun burns and skin cancer. Neither appeal to me."

"Oh." The blond bit his bottom lip, then quietly offered, "I can put some on your back if you want."

The older man stared at him for a moment, trying to judge whether or not he'd be carried off to the bedroom immediately afterward, then nodded slowly and turned to expose his back. "Okay."

Leon was soon reduced to a squirming, mewling puddle. Cloud knew just what parts of his back to put the most pressure on, which parts to leave be, which parts that tickled and which parts that hurt. And the blond was nice enough to leave him just feeling relaxed and sleepy. "Oh, _God._"

Cloud helped him lay down on his stomach and smiled a little, taking a moment to stroke his hair, then sat back in his own chair to finish his drink and figure out if he liked it. "Take a nap, Leon. You deserve it."

The brunet hummed in a manner that almost sounded like a purr, then murmured, "That felt nice… You are _so_ getting sex tonight."

"Mm. Fantastic." The younger man smiled, but it soon faded in favor of a thoughtful frown. "…Didn't Sora say that if you shared a paopu fruit, whoever you shared it with would have their destiny entwined with yours?"

"That's the basic gist, but it's mostly children and teenagers who believe it," Leon replied, not opening his eyes. "Or tourists. It appeals to them, mostly."

Cloud looked down at his margarita, then smiled again. "Well, I'm a tourist. We just shared a paopu margarita. Our destinies are entwined."

The brunt snorted. "Cloud, _please._ …They've _been_ entwined."

"Hmmm, we've both turned into pathetic, romantic saps," Cloud murmured, relaxing further into his seat.

"No, I've _been_ a pathetic, romantic sap. I'm just outrageously good at hiding it. _You're_ the one that magically turned into one, you moron."

The bond smirked. "Oh, that's right. You're the one disguising trashy romance novels with slipcovers from other books. You sly little kitten, you."

"Humph. I'm not sly—just smarter than _you._" Leon smiled and turned to look at him to take the sting out of the statement.

Cloud rolled his eyes. He knew that his lover was the more intellectual of them. Usually, he would have snarked back, but right now, he was just too comfy. So, settling into a position he could keep for hours, he took a sip of his drink and shrugged. "I am not going to say anything offensive so that I may still have sex tonight."

"Hmm. Smart of you," the brunet replied, laying his head back down. "Double sex for you."

The younger man couldn't help it; he began laughing.


	5. E is for Encampment: T

E is for Encampment

Shang had, at first, been a little wary of letting two strange men poke around the encampment. However, Sora and Mulan had assured that if they got in a fight with anyone, it would be each other. He'd still been hesitant, but when he saw the brunet viciously stabbing the other man in the stomach with his sword, and then the wound quickly healing despite the supposed-mortal injury, he relaxed. Because the brunet was nothing but polite—if not a bit standoffish—to anyone else.

Cloud scowled, rubbing his abdomen where he'd been so brutally impaled earlier but now only showed a dark pink scar that would later fade altogether. "You didn't have to stab me so hard."

"You didn't have to grope me so hard, either. It hurt!" Leon snarled, though he was careful not to look back at him. He realized he hadn't needed to stab him _that_ particularly hard, but he was in a bad mood.

When Sora had brought back a metallic-looking orb, he hadn't expected Yuffie to squee and attack him for it, then run off cackling. He had not expected _further_ that she demand to be taken to where he found the orb when she came back later, after having stashed it. And he was startled even more when Cloud, Cid, Aerith, and Tifa had sighed and had not immediately said a loud and unified 'no.'

They had all come to a consensus, later, that Yuffie should not be allowed to search for what they called 'materia,' but that left the decision of who would go in her stead. Tifa had immediately declined, quite bluntly, because she had a business to run thank you. Aerith had smiled sweetly but had explained that, while she was training people in healing magic, she couldn't just leave the medical clinic she was the head of behind. Cid, quite frankly, was too old and persnickety, and he believed that the ninja was better off _without_ the materia, honestly. The only options left were Leon and Cloud.

It was obvious that they would both have to go. While Cloud was perfectly capable of identifying materia, he had the social graces of a constipated rhino. True, neither man was the most socially adept, but the difference was that Cloud honestly didn't know how to interact around normal people; Leon _could_ behave in a socially acceptable manner, but he just chose not to. Since Leon could not identify materia, and Cloud could not be depended on to not make an ass of himself, they would go together.

Except, now that Leon knew what it looked like, he was sort of annoyed with his puppy-like lover following him around and pawing at him like he was in heat.

Sighing in frustration, he turned toward the blond sharply, scowling. "If we have sex, it will _not_ be here. It's cold. I don't want to be naked in the cold—I'm a grumpy person when I'm not at a comfortable temperature. I will be _happy_ to give you sex once we get down to the city. Until then, _stop pawing at me!_"

Cloud blinked, stunned, then smiled sweetly and leaned in to gently rub noses with him. "I was expecting to be held off until we got home."

"I'll be too busy trying to stop Yuffie from squirreling her materia away in inopportune places to have sex; she wears me out by making me chase her around. So, since I like a little sex myself, we'll have it before we go home." Leon scowled. "And then not have it again for a week because I'll be too exhausted from following her around and smacking her when appropriate. I swear, she does it on purpose."

The blond sighed. "She probably does; she knows it pisses me off, and she likes to see me aggravated. URGH I should just tie her up and throw her in a closet."

"That would not be as satisfying as smacking her, honestly," the older man replied, offering him a wry smile. "Thanks for the thought, though."

"…If it takes longer than a week, I _am_ tying her up and throwing her in a closet," Cloud warned after a moment.

Leon snorted and kicked a mound of dirt, dislodging a sphere of materia, then bent to pick it up. "After a week of chasing her everywhere? Please do."


	6. F is for Freezer: K Plus

Author's Note: Yes. The freezer. In Captain Hook's ship. This is sort of an AU. Well, okay, it's totally AU.

F is for Freezer

"Cloud, putting the prisoner in the freezer because he refuses to tell you anything about the brats on the island probably won't make him want to talk," Tifa sighed, rolling her eyes.

Cloud grunted and threw his hat onto his desk. "He's not even a kid anymore. Why is he protecting Pan and the Lost Boys anyway?"

Tifa stared at him, then deadpanned, "Perhaps he likes children. Why do you even care, anyway? You and Hook have never gotten along, so why bother with Peter Pan?"

"That's the thing," the blond replied, scowling. "I hate Hook. I want to try and make a deal with Pan to make Hook miserable."

"…Did you try _telling_ your prisoner that?" his first mate asked, raising an eyebrow. When the blond only blinked at her, she let out a frustrated sigh. "Cloud, go get him out of the freezer and tell him that you're not on Hook's side. I swear, the only reason we even keep you around is so that you can distract Sephiroth whenever we happen to cross each other's paths at sea."

.-.-.-.-.-.

Leon tried to keep from shivering as he heard the door open, locking his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. He'd be damned if he showed his captors any weakness; he didn't want them exploited anymore than he already was. Lifting his eyes in a defiant glare, he growled as he saw the blond captain of the ship. "Oh, it's _you._"

"Yes, me." Cloud crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway, sighing quietly. "So I may have gone about this the entirely wrong way. I want to talk to Peter Pan because I want to make a deal with him; I'll make as much trouble with Hook as possible if he'll try to convince the natives to trade supplies with us."

"And why should I believe you?" the brunet spat, turning his head away. "You locked me in a freezer!"

"…I admit that that was probably uncalled for," Cloud murmured, frowning.

"Oh, _probably_ uncalled for? I'm _freezing_ and you're lucky I have the spirits of ice on my side or I'd be suffering from hypothermia!" Leon glared at him with even more acid. "Do you have a brain? Because normal human beings can't live through these extreme temperatures, so if you were planning on getting anything from me, you'd be shit out of luck!"

The blond shrugged carelessly. "Well, this is why my first mate is always there to beat some sense into me." Seeing the unimpressed, bland stare he received for the admission, he turned and lifted his shirt, showing that his back was one huge, dark purple bruise. "Really. She kicked me into a wall."

"Oh, your first mate's _girl._ Well, that explains a lot," the brunet muttered, rolling his eyes. "I… I _suppose_ I can _think_ about talking to Peter." He turned a glare back on the ship's captain. "But only if you _get me out of this freezer._"

Cloud smiled brightly. "That's better than the flat out 'no's and the growls and snarls you gave me when we first met!"

"…You're a moron," Leon stated in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. "If morons keep captaining ships, Peter has nothing to worry about. Honestly. NOW GET ME OUT OF THIS FREEZER."


	7. G is for Gorge: T

G is for Gorge

THE PAIN.

Leon rolled his eyes and sighed. "Really, Cloud?"

"I WAS NOT EXPECTING THESE."

The brunet could only assume that by 'these,' his companion had meant the four paws. Well, he'd _warned_ him that coming to the Pride Lands meant paws. It was the blond's fault if he was too much of a moron to realize that paws meant four legs, and that four legs would need getting used to.

"Look, we just need to find Sora and tell him to hurry back to Destiny Islands and then we can go, okay?" Leon explained, walking away from him casually.

Cloud grumbled and picked himself up from having fallen on his face. "Why are you walking so well? You've never been here before, either."

"I'm walking relatively slowly compared to how I usually walk—which is usually fairly quickly, as I have a lot of things to do and not a lot of time to do them. You walk with the speed of an injured turtle."

The blond huffed but carefully maneuvered himself to follow him. "Stupid, good-at-everything, pain in the—"

"I can still hear you." Leon rolled his eyes as the other lion immediately silenced himself. "Pussy."

Cloud leered at him. "I think _you're_ the pussy here, kitten."

"Oh, hahaha, a cat joke! As if I haven't heard them all before," the brunet mumbled, scowling. "Why don't you just call for Sora?"

"What? Why me?" the swordsman asked, frowning.

Leon snorted. "Because a lion's roar can be heard for miles and you've already got a big stupid mouth."

The blond huffed in affront. "You like my big stupid mouth."

"Only when I'm in the mood. Now yell for Sora and then we can leave."

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes, then took in a deep breath to let out a roar. Before he could, however, he paused. "…You know…"

"Oh, God, here we go again," Leon sighed, temple throbbing in annoyance.

"…Well, it might be fun to _experiment…_"

"NO. Call Sora or I won't have sex with you for a month," the brunet ordered, turning to glare at him. "And I mean it. I'll sleep in Yuffie's room."

Cloud whimpered. "You're so cruel…"

"_Cloud—_"

"SORA! COME BACK TO YOUR GUMMI SHIP!"

Leon winced as the echoes came back to assault his sensitive ears but didn't gripe about it. He _had_ been the one that told him to roar.

Faintly, they heard a call back. _"Cloud?"_

"YES. COME BACK TO YOUR GUMMI SHIP."

"_Why?"_

"Wh—BECAUSE I SAID SO AND I'M BIGGER THAN YOU, THAT'S WHY."

Leon sighed and slapped a paw over his face. "Very mature, Cloud. Tell Sora we're going to be waiting by the gummi ships." He paused, then sighed. "Tell him I've brought cookies."

As the brunet stalked back to the gummi ships, he tried to ignore the fact that Cloud and Sora were still calling back and forth and blatantly ignoring what he'd said. However, after dealing with Yuffie for so long, dealing with a grown man and the savior of the worlds bickering like toddlers was a little grating on his nerves.

When they continued for five more minutes, he finally snapped. Spinning around to face them, he angrily roared, "SORA, GET BACK TO THE DAMN SHIP OR YOU GET NO COOKIES WHATSOEVER!"

"_Okay! Just a second!"_

Cloud turned and opened his mouth, but was immediately cowed by the glare he was given. "…What?"

"I should leave you here when we leave. I really should. Would it kill you to act your _age_ once in a while?" Before the blond could retort, Leon huffed. "No cookies for you."

The yellow lion frowned. "But I was good and stayed out of the kitchen and everything!"

Leon stared at him for a few minutes, then sighed. "I hate my life."


	8. H is for Hinterlands: M

Author's Note: Yes, another AU. Because you know you love it. **:3** Also, let me explain why Leon's so 'hiss hiss NO' and then 'purr purr YES' about sex. He's really not in the mood for sex, considering he's about the most asocial person ever (besides Cloud, of course). However, cats are actually very horny creatures, so once Cloud gets Leon all hot and bothered, his mood goes from '*growl* don't even touch me' to '*growl* if you stop I'll kill you.'

H is for Hinterlands

Leon hissed as he heard a long howl, then hurriedly climbed a nearby tree even as his tail began fluffing itself in his agitation. He hated the full moon. The stupid werewolves came out of hiding to romp around with anything that was old enough and stood still long enough—whether to terrify their victims or molest them depended on the person.

He was not interested in being scared or screwed, so the trees were the only safe place if he didn't want to be bothered by his _darling_ mummy roommate that kept trying to convince him that she was a ninja. He _acknowledged_ that she was a ninja; she could stop _proving_ it now, because he was getting quite aggravated with having shuriken thrown at him if he walked into the room without warning her.

It wasn't his fault he walked silently!

.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud grumbled as he stalked into the Hinterlands, ears twisting back angrily as he thought of his friends and what they were doing. He wished he wasn't a werewolf sometimes. Yes, he was horny, but he had no interest in having sex or terrifying anyone at the moment; he was more monogamous than others. He didn't know why his wolf genes were so much stronger in that sense, but it was really agitating when he had to go and get himself off while _everyone else_ was just having _sex._

He hated the Hinterlands, too, because it was the only place he could be alone to do it, what with Zack bringing home _his_ usual partner, and he wasn't in the mood to be made fun of.

Slumping down in front of a tree, he grumbled a bit more acidly, glaring at the air in front of him. Yes, it was the _air's_ fault, because breathing was the reason he was alive to suffer through this full moon-horniness.

Then he heard a crack, and a yowl, and suddenly his lap was full of flailing and fur. "Ack!"

"Damn branch damn tree damn _werewolf!_"

Cloud snatched the other person's fluffy tail before escape could occur and hurriedly crushed his captive to the ground. The struggle was brief, but he _did_ suffer a punch to the face. Grabbing the wrists of the other person, he slammed them against the ground and snarled angrily, making the person flinch and stiffen but at least stop struggling.

Cloud peered down at the brunet and hummed thoughtfully. "…Pretty."

"I'm not having sex with you," the feline spat, glaring at him.

The blond huffed, then dipped his head to snuffle along the other man's throat. "You smell good…"

"Not. Having. Sex with you."

Cloud's tail began to wag as he rubbed his face against his bare chest and stomach. "What's your name, pretty kitty?" he asked, brushing the sides of the leather vest aside to gently toy with his nipples.

"Nyu!" The brunet's body arched up, and he was horrified when he began to purr. This had never happened before, even when he'd had sex with people he knew! Why was he enjoying it now? "Let me go—" He gasped helplessly as the werewolf's tongue slid from the hem of his pants up to his belly button and arched his hips upward, then mewed helplessly. "…I-if I tell you my name, will you sto-_stop!_"

"Perhaps," the blond replied, gently dragging his claws over the feline's stomach. "No one's ever smelled as good as you have, though."

"L-Leon-! _Ah!_ It's _Leon!_" Leon mewed again as the other man's tongue began swirling around his nipple. "Stop—please, stop—" He gasped and jerked his hips up again, then whimpered and clawed at the other man's ripped shirt. "If you're going to—at least—take your clothes off—"

Cloud growled and ripped his shirt off, then immediately shoved his pants down his thighs as well. "Mine. You're mine!" He snarled when the brunet squirmed and immediately clamped his hands on his hips. "_Mine._"

"Pants-! Get them off!" The feline man clawed at the button of his leather pants and arched his hips upward pleadingly. "Take them off!"

Once the button and zipper were undone, the blond complied, sliding his pants down his legs. "So pretty… pretty kitty…" Hooking his arms underneath the brunet's knees, the werewolf hoisted his legs upwards and nuzzled his ass reverently. "Mm, soft skin. I love it."

Leon's purr grew louder as he felt a hot, wet tongue poking at his entrance before he mewed as it pushed inside. "Yes, lick me and fuck me—" He mewed and slid his tail around the blond's waist. "Nn, yes…!" He jerked his head back and gasped as the werewolf's tongue slid further and twisted in a decidedly _interesting_ manner. "Oh, _yes!_"

Cloud's tail began to wag anew as the brunet shuddered and mewed in his arms. Setting the other man back on the ground, he settled between his legs and lined himself up to push into him. "Leon… such a pretty kitty…" He nuzzled the brunet's throat lightly before jerking his hips forward, impaling the feline roughly. "_Mine._"

"Nyu!" The brunet purred and wrapped his legs around the werewolf's hips. "Yes, _yes._ Fuck me!" He gasped quietly as the blond immediately began humping him and reached up to dig his claws into his back. "Oh _God!_"

"Cloud. My name is Cloud," Cloud growled, tightening his grip on the feline's hips. "Say it."

Leon rubbed his cheek against the blond's shoulder and purred. "Cloud…"

"Say it _again._"

"Cloud… _Cloud…_ Oh, _Cloud-!_" The brunet let his head fall back and moaned loudly. "Yes, more—faster—harder—fuck me-!"

The werewolf rumbled and paused to adjust his position before speeding up his thrusts, tail wagging furiously as the older man mewled and purred and wriggled like the pleased kitten he was. "Leon… So tight…"

"Ah… Ah…! Yes-! Cloud!" Leon yowled and arched up against him before reaching for his own erection and stroking it frantically. He yowled again when the blond sank his teeth into his shoulder. "Ahn!"

Cloud reached down to wrap his fist around the brunet's and made him stroke himself faster. "Mine. _Mine._"

"Ah…! Gonna come-!" The brunet's yowl turned into a yelp when the werewolf's thrusts suddenly became harder. "Cloud!"

The blond growled loudly. "Leon. Mine. _My_ Leon!"

"I'm not yours, you—_Aaaahhhhh!_" Leon threw his head back in a long keen as he reached his climax and dragged his claws down the blond's back. "Nyooo…!"

Cloud snarled and rammed into him a few more times before reaching his own finish, stiffening as he emptied himself as the spasming brunet. "My Leon…"

Waiting a few moments to get his breath back, the feline growled, "I am _not_ yours. I am a cat. This was a convenience fuck."

The blond leered at him. "How about we make it _more_ convenient?"

"…I don't like the way you're looking at me."

"I know what you smell like. If I want to find you, all I have to do is sniff you out," Cloud murmured, smirking. "And by the way you're purring, you didn't _dislike it._"

"…Fuck you," Leon spat, glaring at him. "If you sniff me out, I'll—" He mewed in surprise as the blond jerked his hips, spearing the spot inside of him that gave him so much pleasure. "Nyo…" Blushing a little, he hissed. "Don't come to my home. My roommate will never let me live this down."

"But anywhere else…?" Cloud purred, kneading the brunet's sides.

The feline mewled helplessly and squirmed. "Fine-! I don't care! Just—just not at my home!" He whimpered as he felt the blond hardening again. "Again?"

Tail wagging, the werewolf trailed his fingers down the brunet's chest. "Of course, Leon. After all, the full moon is still bright…"

"…Shit…"


	9. I is for Inner Chamber: K Plus

Author's Note: As in, the Cave of the Dead: Inner Chamber. In KH II in the Underworld. **:p** It's short and sweet, because I don't really see the Underworld as a very romantic place. However the next chapter is longer! **:3**

I is for Inner Chamber

Leon sighed as he sliced through a couple of Heartless. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because I want to make Hades pay for putting me under contract and then crushing me with his stupid mutt!" Cloud snapped, slamming his sword into half a dozen more Heartless.

"…That's funny… Cerberus seems to like me," the brunet mumbled, frowning thoughtfully.

"EVERYONE LIKES YOU." The swordsman glared. "Mostly because they want to have sex with you."

Leon raised an eyebrow. "…Yes. The way it rolled onto its back and practically demanded that I scratch its belly just _screamed_ 'I wanna sex you up.'"

"Damn you and your way with animals." Cloud turned to glare at him for a moment before continuing to slash and crush Heartless. "And your stupid sexiness, too. I'd do you right here if there weren't tons of Heartless."

"Well, I don't want to be here anyway, so you can just go on and I'll go back to see Cerberus," the gunblader replied icily, glaring at him, before turning to stalk back the way they'd come. "You can take on Hades yourself, you insensitive prick."

The blond huffed. "_You_ were the one who said you wanted to do more things as a couple!"

"I did _not_ mean taking on the God of the Underworld!" Leon exclaimed in exasperation. "I meant like grabbing some ice-cream from Scrooge or just going on a _walk!_"

Cloud scowled. "Well why didn't you just say so!"

"Because I thought you'd realize that going to get revenge is _not_ necessarily a couple's outing!"

"Leon, it's _me._ Do I look like an expert at romantic things?"

Leon snorted but didn't turn around. "Obviously not."


	10. J is for Jolly Lane: T

Author's Note: I had to make up my own for J, just because there was no place I could find that started with the stupid letter. I doubt you'll mind, though, really, once you read on. Again, it's an AU. **:p**

J is for Jolly Lane

Cloud yelped as he hit the ground, then flailed upward, stunned when his bare skin was met with cold wetness. "Bah cold make it stop!" When he realized he was just sitting on ice, however, he paused, then picked up a handful of the stuff, watching it in amazement as it melted in his palm. Looking around, he found his entire surroundings covered in the white fluff.

Shivering a little, he got to his feet and dusted himself off, then turned to peer down the hill, away from the tree that had a door shaped like a jack-o-lantern on it. He raised an eyebrow as he saw the little village below, lip curling slightly as the only word to describe it that came to mind was… _cute._ Ugh, where were the monsters, the ghouls that were supposed to scare children in the night?

…He should explore while he was here. Just so he had a good description to give his friends before they immediately called him a liar.

Looking up around where he was, he was met with a signpost that read 'Candy Cane Lane.' Cloud wasn't sure what a candy cane was, but he knew what 'lane' meant, and so he walked forward, down the hill, and the… _cute…_ little town, which he now knew was called Christmas Town because of the brightly lit sign indicating it so. He paused as he saw another signpost reading 'Jolly Lane.' Peering down the new lane, he absorbed the view of a dozen gingerbread houses down each side, frosted lightly with the ice that seemed to be covering everything in this place (the only reason he knew what a gingerbread house looked like, however, was because his aunt had been a witch and lived in one).

He was tempted to continue onward, to the main area of the town, but was distracted when he saw something other than red, green, or white flash in the corner of his eye. Turning back down the lane, his eyes locked onto something brown, then slid inward to something that was, regrettably, red with white fluff.

It was a cat. Not a black cat—those were rare and usually slinked everywhere, so no one saw them anyway. No, this one was brown, and in his humanoid form currently. Cloud's tail began to wag when he realized how… _attractive_ this cat was. His long brown hair was tied back out of his face with a red ribbon (not in a girly bow, thank pumpkins), exposing a pale, angular face with deep gray eyes. He wore a black pair of pants with white fluff around all of its hems, and a long red jacket that also had the fluffy white hems. His long, feline tail was twitching slightly, extending from under the coat that he realized must be keeping the cat warm.

He was tying what looked like red and green socks to the doorknobs filled with something or other, entirely absorbed in his task. Cloud's ears twisted to press against his skull; he'd never seen such an attractive cat before, and the full moon was near. He didn't want to jump the poor kitty, though…

Unconsciously, he moved closer, down the lane a little, then up the walk. He was close enough to breathe in the other man's scent—a spicy sweet one, like pumpkin pie, which he was familiar with. And that just made him want the feline man more.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Leon knotted the laces tying the stockings to the doorknob and smiled a little, figuring the elves would appreciate Mrs. Claus's cookies so close to the deadline. Once certain the stockings would stay, he turned to head back down to the road, only to squeak in surprise and jerk backward as he was immediately faced with intense, glowing blue eyes. "What the-!"

Before he could slip on the icy stoop and fall, a strong hand caught his upper arm and held him steady. "Sorry to startle you."

He stared at the other man for a moment, frowning in confusion when he saw the large, canine ears nestled in blond spikes. He'd never seen anyone with animal appendages like he did. It was tempted to stay and ask questions, but the weight of stockings laden with plastic-wrapped cookies in his hand reminded him that he was in the middle of something.

Pushing past him carefully on the snow, he murmured a quiet, "Excuse me." Then, he walked over to the next house to carefully tie more stockings to the last house's doorknob.

"…I've… never seen you before," the blond commented, trailing after him. "Have you always lived here?"

"Yes," Leon replied, shrugging. "Since Mrs. Claus found me on her doorstep as a baby." He paused to give the cord a tug, then turned around to face him again. "But I've never seen you around here before. Did you come from Halloween Town?"

The canine man blinked in surprise. "Yes, have you been there?"

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "No, but Jack still comes by every so often with cookies from Sally."

"Oh. _Oh,_ that Christmas Town," the blond mumbled, reaching up to tug on an ear. "I remember that. I was just a kid when Jack wanted to take over Christmas, but… I remember that."

"I do too. I got _this—_" He pointed at the scar across his face. "—from the chaos after Santa was kidnapped." He paused, then added, "My name's Leon. What's yours?"

"Cloud." The werewolf tilted his head. "…So… You like it here, then?"

"The elves' kids can get on my nerves, but I usually help Mrs. Claus in the kitchen anyway. So, yeah, I like it here." Leon shrugged and scratched his cheek absently as he began back down the lane. "I mean, I realized a long time ago that I probably came from Halloween Town, but since I was raised to make children happy instead of scaring them, I wouldn't be happy there, especially come Halloween. And it would be rude of me to just visit without helping out, so I figure just staying here is better than trying to figure out where I came from," he explained, turning to look at his walking companion. "So what are you doing here?"

Cloud shrugged and shoved his hands into his ratty pockets. "I was running from a friend and fell through the door. It's my fault, really; I should have sensed her coming."

The brunet raised an eyebrow. "You were running from a friend? Must not have been a very good friend."

"No, she's actually a very good friend. She's loyal, and she's fun. Unfortunately, I'm not a fun person." The werewolf smiled a little. "She doesn't know what the word 'no' means, so she just keeps pushing. I didn't want to deal with it today, so I ran."

"_CLOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUDDDDDDD!_ Thinking that I wouldn't follow you here, you jerk! You promised to hang out with me today!"

Leon turned and watched as the blond was slammed into and sent rolling across the ground, then looked at the girl that had taken his spot, hands clenched into fists as she glared at him. Various parts of her were wrapped in bandages tinged with red—blood, he supposed. "So… are you… a zombie?"

The girl turned toward him sharply, stunned, then smiled brightly. "Close! I'm a restless spirit! I died without achieving my dream, so I came back even after death! I'm a ninja! My name's Yuffie; what's yours?"

He liked her cheerful attitude. "I'm Leon. Are you the friend Cloud was talking about, the loyal one that likes to have fun but doesn't know what the word 'no' means?" he teased, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

Yuffie blew a raspberry. "I know what _'no'_ means! I just choose to ignore it!"

"Well, that's different," Leon agreed, nodding. "Hey, I have a couple of candy canes with me. Would you like one?"

She blinked. "What's a candy cane?"

Cloud, grumbling as he finally got to is feet, made his way back over to them and rubbed the bump steadily healing itself on his head. "She's not old enough to remember when Jack tried to take over Christmas."

"…It's just as the name suggests. It's candy," Leon stated, to which she immediately held out her hands. "I thought so."

"Mmmm, it's _minty!_" Yuffie squealed joyously, crunching on the treat, before reaching out sticky fingers to grasp his hands. "You're my new best friend!"

The feline raised an eyebrow, then tilted his head innocently in confusion. "…Okay…"

"So I'll come visit you when I don't hafta help Aerith put up decorations or help make candies for Halloween, okay?" she continued, bouncing in her excitement. "And you'll have to come visit me, too! I live in the big orange house in Guillotine Square! Just come find me and we'll go scare people, okay?"

"Yuffie, Leon doesn't like scaring people," Cloud sighed, reaching out to pry her fingers off the other man's hands.

Leon frowned. "I like helping people. Sorry."

"That's okay! I'll teach you!" she replied cheerfully. "You just come see me after one of your dates with Cloud and then I'll begin your scaring lessons!"

"…Yuffie, he's _not_ my boyfriend—"

The brunet shrugged. "Okay. But just so you know, I don't think I'll be any good at it. Maybe I'll teach you to help people instead."

"HA, you're funny." Yuffie smiled and reached up to tweak one of his ears. "Well, Cloud promised Tifa that he'd help her move the cinderblocks from Dr. Finkelstein's lab, so we hafta go! See you later, Leon!"

"Bye. …Don't kill Cloud."

As Cloud was dragged away, he frowned, then brightened at what he'd realized. "Did he just agree to date me?"

"Yeah, you're lucky I'm around to help you with this stuff," Yuffie mumbled, scowling. "You definitely would have ruined it."


	11. K is for King's Den: T

K is for King's Den

"So you said you were… friends of Sora?" Simba asked after a moment, brows furrowing together as he watched the darker lion plant one of his large paws on the blond's muzzle and shove it into the ground.

Leon huffed swatted his companion's head again, then turned back to the pride's leader and nodded. "Yes. He promised that he was just going to show Riku the general area and then he was coming directly back to Radiant Garden, where Kairi's staying." His eyes narrowed. "He was supposed to be back two days ago."

Nala frowned in concern. "I hope the hyenas didn't get them. They've been acting up a lot lately."

"Do we need to go and find them then?" Cloud asked, once he'd shaken off any dizziness from the brunet slamming his head into the stone floor.

"No, they probably just lost track of time." Leon paused, then reached over and slammed his head back down. "That never gets old."

"Just because I regenerate is no reason to keep hurting me!" the blond snarled, glaring at him.

"I have plenty of reasons. Would you like me to list them?" Leon narrowed his eyes.

Before Cloud could answer, Nala replied, "I wouldn't mind hearing them."

The gunblader turned his attention on her and scowled in annoyance. "Well, first of all, he's a pervert. On top of that, he's not even a respectful pervert; he doesn't care where we are or who we're with when he gropes me."

Simba and Cloud blinked. Simba was trying to comprehend why two male lions would do sexual things to each other. Cloud was trying to comprehend why showing his lover how attractive he thought he was happened to be a bad thing.

"He's a horrible person to sleep with besides; he snores," Leon continued. "And he hogs the covers. And he has no common sense whatsoever. The other day, he was helping Aerith with spring cleaning, and he accidentally knocked the ironing board over so the iron was about to fall down. Now, a normal person would have let it fall, or at least just grab the cord, because an iron is insanely hot. _This_ moron grabbed it and gave himself second degree burns."

Nala frowned. "I don't know what an iron is, but that reminds me of the time Simba and I accidentally pissed off a rhino. Now, me, I leapt into a tree. _Simba,_ on the other hand, just kept running. And that rhino just kept on charging after him."

"So we both agree that Simba and Cloud are morons," Leon deduced. "Fantastic."

"Hey!" Cloud scowled. "I'm not a moron!"

"…Yes, you are," the brunet stated firmly, then titled his head as he heard happy chattering outside of the cave.

Simba frowned. "It was just that one time, Nala."

She raised a brow at him skeptically. "Should I mention all of your bad ideas from our childhood, too?"

"…No."

"Well, if I know Sora's chatter—and believe me, I do—he and Riku are back. Thanks for letting us stay in here until they managed to drag their butts back here," Leon stated, heaving himself to his feet. "We'll be forcing them back to Radiant Garden now."

As he turned and walked away, Cloud hurried to his feet as well. "I don't really snore, do I, Leon? Leon? You know you could always just kick me and I'd wake up for you to tell me to stop. Leon? …ACKNOWLEDGE ME."

"Fine, I'll kick you next time you snore. Will you hurry up before Sora gets distracted and scampers off again?"

The blond whined. "Why do you never show you love me?"

Leon huffed. "I think cooking for you and having as much sex as you want and then dealing with everyone's teasing shows just how much I love you."


	12. L is for Library: T

L is for Library

Leon tilted his head as he glanced between the two books in his hands. He wanted something to be able to distract Yuffie with, since Aerith had finally point-blank stated that she was not allowed out in the rain because she'd gotten colds and the flu a few times too many for her taste. Now, he needed to distract the poor ninja—not because he cared _too_ much, but because she'd probably accidentally destroy something and _he'd_ be the one that had to fix it.

But would Yuffie like a romance novel? Or should he get a book with lots of pictures?

Leon let out a yelp as he was shoved up against a bookcase, then growled in annoyance. "Would you stop sneaking up on me? I hate it when you do that." He might have even hit the other man in his frustration, but was immediately appeased by teeth closing lightly on his earlobe and tugging playfully. "Mm…"

Cloud nibbled on his ear for a few more moments before plucking the books out of his hands and looking at them himself. "Still looking for books that Yuffie might like?"

"Yeah," the brunet sighed, frowning. "She's such a hard person to get a book for, though."

"Just buy her yaoi and she'll obsess over it for days," the younger man replied, tossing the books away carelessly.

Leon grunted in frustration and caught one, but the other hit the ground with a thump. "Show a little more respect for the books in here, please."

"Hmm, no one reads romance novels anyway. Their plots are so cliché and old. Everyone always lives happily ever after." Cloud rolled his eyes. At the steely silence he received for this statement, however, he flinched, then slowly turned to look over his shoulder to find the brunet glaring at him icily.

"I. Love. Romance novels," the brunet growled, then turned and stalked away. He normally wouldn't admit something like that, but having his lover insulting something he actually liked really pissed him off—especially since Matron's romance novels were one of his escapes when he lived in the orphanage. Sure, there were a few mysteries and fantasy novels thrown in, but Matron had usually had romance novels on hand for him to read.

Yes, they were cliché, and most authors used the same tired plot, but it was nice to see a little love in a building full of parentless children sometimes.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Leon blinked as he felt something brush his leg, then scowled, resolutely clenching his jaw as he focused on the book in his hands. After a few silent moments, however, something thumped onto the table. Looking over at it, he felt his heart melt a little when he found a book laying indiscriminately on the edge. He leaned over to peer at his lover. "Cloud?"

Cloud looked up at him like a puppy that knew it had done something wrong and was very sorry. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, kitten."

"…It's okay," the brunet replied quietly, then reached out to run a hand through his hair. He motioned at the book. "What's this?"

"Yaoi."

Leon's brows furrowed together. "You and Yuffie use that word, but it seems like I'm the only one in the house that doesn't know what it means."

"That's because you've never asked anyone," Cloud pointed out bluntly. "I'm sure if you'd just asked one of the girls—or even Cid or Merlin—they would have told you."

"Why don't you tell me?" The gunblader raised an eyebrow inquisitively.

The blond tilted his head thoughtfully, then stood up, smirking a little as he did so. "Well, why don't I show you?"

Leon frowned in confusion before letting out a surprised squeak as he found himself slammed on his back, hips resting on the edge of the table. "Cloud, what the _hell—_" His breath hitched as his shirt was pushed up and he mewed when the blond began pinching one of his nipples. "Cloud…!"

Cloud growled. The sounds the brunet made were a great part of the reason he called his lover 'kitten,' and he loved when he mewed and purred and squirmed like a kitten that had just had a very large bowl of cream. However, if he told Leon that, he was sure he'd be cut off from sex for a week.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud nuzzled the brunet's chest and smiled. "And now you know."

Leon lifted a hand to gently stroke the younger man's hair and frowned. "I see. …But if she really wanted to read porn or something, couldn't she just get into Cid's stash?"

"No. You've missed the entire point," the blond stated, lifting his head and giving him a bland stare. "Yaoi is not just _porn._"

"…Explain."

"Yaoi is _gay_ porn. Usually between two pretty men." Cloud smiled. "And you're really pretty."

Leon hummed thoughtfully, nodding in understanding, then frowned again. "But Yuffie's a girl. Why does she want to read man-on-man porn?"

The blond sighed. "I don't _know_, but you should stop questioning it. She's crazy anyway, so you'd have no hope of understanding her reasoning for anything."

"…Hmm. I suppose you're right," the brunet admitted after a minute. He let his eyes slide closed and sighed contentedly as the younger man kissed his chest softly, then murmured, "You should show me what yaoi is one more time, just so I can make sure I have the definition right."

Cloud sat up swiftly. "You're right; I should." He grinned. "I think I will."

Mostly to hear his 'kitten' actually _sounding_ like a kitten.


	13. M is for Mountain Trail: T

M is for Mountain Trail

Leon cursed as he saw the hundreds of Rabid Thrusters and began backing down from the summit. He didn't know where Cloud was—he'd lost him during the battle with the bigger Heartless. He had enough faith in the blond's battle prowess to leave him, though. Well, that and faith in his regeneration. He didn't really get the whole 'mako makes me superhuman blah blah blah' thing, but he understood the whole 'I heal faster than a normal human would' explanation.

Yuffie had been kind enough to give an example when a misaimed shuriken had slammed into his face. Leon had thought for sure that Cloud would lose vision in the eye the shuriken had sunk into. He'd been proved wrong when, a few blinks later (in which there was a steady stream of tears coming from the injured eye), he was being looked at and actually _seen_ with both eyes.

He thought that incredibly unfair.

Leon couldn't help a yelp as a Rapid Thruster suddenly jetted past him, slicing into his side. "Ow! Damn it! Fuck!" He usually didn't curse—living with so many girls had actually given him quite a different vocabulary for pain and frustration—but he was cold, wet, and tired, and now he was in pain. He sliced the offending Heartless in half before continuing his mad dash down the mountain trail that had led him up to the Heartless infested summit in the first place.

He was relieved when the snow beneath his feet melted into mud, then dried out to just dirt. It made running from the Rapid Thrusters so much easier.

RAPID THRUSTERS WERE NOW ON HIS "MOST HATED LIST." Weren't they supposed to stay at the summit? Sora had never mentioned them following him down! He hated Heartless. _Hated them._

Suddenly, a black-white-yellow-silver blur bolted past him amidst the sound of vanquished Heartless and came to a stop, and he found Cloud standing in front of him, sword drawn.

Leon didn't have enough time to stop like Cloud did, so he raised his gunblade to keep from being sliced in half before he slammed into him. They went rolling downward, tossing swords aside (well, _Cloud_ tossed their swords aside; Leon could only assume that Cloud didn't want to accidentally impale him), until they finally came to an abrupt stop when Cloud's back collided with a particularly large boulder.

Unfortunately, Leon slammed into Cloud, which still _felt_ like a boulder since he was just bones and muscle and OW. He was knocked senseless for a few moments, but when he finally regained a grasp of where he was and what had happened, he punched the blond in the arm as hard as he could. "What the _hell!_"

"I'm sorry! I just saw Heartless and wanted to head them off before they got down to the village! They're just now rebuilding and Tifa and Aerith would have my head if I let anything happen to the villagers now!" Cloud exclaimed helplessly, reaching out to grab his wrists. "I didn't realize you were running from them!"

"Where the hell did you _go?_ You just disappeared and suddenly I'm left with hundreds of Heartless! I'm good, Cloud, but I'm not _that_ good! Especially without my magic!"

The blond frowned in confusion. "I thought you were only second to Aerith with your magic."

"I've been using my magic _healing_ myself because unlike _some_ people, I don't regenerate at the drop of a hat, Mr. I-was-just-stabbed-in-eye-but-miracle-of-miracles-I-CAN-SEE!" Leon snarled, glaring at him.

Cloud blinked at him, stunned, then took a step back to look him over. "Are you hurt?" Spying the gash on his side, he frowned and reached out to touch it.

"_Ow!_ CLOUD." The brunet glared at him and pushed his hand away. "You don't just shove your fingers into someone's _open wound._"

"…I was under the impression that you need to put pressure on it," the younger man replied. "That's what Aerith always says."

"You don't use your _bare hands—_" The gunblader cut himself off as the blond looked down at his hand, brows furrowed together, and he realized that he was, at least, wearing gloves. "…NO. You put something _on_ the wound and _then_ you put pressure on it so that you don't just rip the scab open when you pull your hand off. It defeats the purpose."

Cloud's mind boggled; because he'd been made into a superhuman (memories of which still made him cringe), he'd never had to learn all of this first aid for the normal human body. He hadn't realized how… fragile everyone else was.

Yes, he'd realized that girls in general were delicate, no matter how tough they may be (Tifa was a prime example), and their bodies weren't as strong as a man's (again, Tifa was the exception); that was just the way nature had intended it. He even recognized that teenagers weren't yet at their strongest (even teenagers like Sora, Riku, and Kairi) as while they were mostly grown, they still had a bit more to go and a lot more to experience.

He'd just never realized how fragile normal men were compared to himself; with the way Leon always acted (aloof and basically unaffected by even the biggest of injuries), he'd just assumed that the brunet's body was just as tough as his was. Seeing the blood slowly seeping out of the brunet's wound, however, he realized that this was not the case, and he was at a loss to help someone close to him.

This was not a good feeling.

Leon rolled his eyes and sighed. "Listen, I'll just drink a potion when we get back down to the village. You don't have to worry about—Cloud? Are you listening to me?" He squeaked in confusion as the blond knelt in front of him and hurriedly reached out for his shoulders. "What are you doing?"

"…When I was younger, my mom used to kiss my hurts better." Cloud looked up at him in concern. "Will it last until we can get down to the village and get a potion for you?"

The brunet frowned, then sighed and looked away, trying to ignore the fact that _yes,_ he was blushing a little. "…It should last until we get down to the village, yes." He ground his teeth as the younger man leaned in and closed his eyes tightly to prepare himself for the pain he knew was coming. Cloud was not the gentlest person in the worlds, after all.

He was surprised, then, when he felt a gentle brush against his side that was soft like a feather. Looking down quickly, he watched the blond's lips graze his wound with so much care that he barely felt it, which was surprising, to say the least.

Blushing even more as the younger man stood up, he stated, "Gee, I didn't know you could be _gentle._"

Cloud smirked. "With the right person, I can be."

"…I don't like the way you're looking at me, Cloud."

"You know, I could kiss you somewhere else—"

Before the swordsman could finish, Leon belted him in the face.


	14. N is for Nook: T

Author's Note: Nook as in Cavern Nook in Atlantica. Hooray for mer!Leon and mer!Cloud! **:3**

N is for Nook

"Stop looking at me like that."

Cloud blinked. "Like what?"

"Like you want to _eat me,_" Leon stated icily, glaring at him. "You're not a shark-mer. _Seriously,_ it's creepy_._ We're just here to grab Sora and Kairi and go home."

"Why is it always _our_ job to go find Sora and drag him back?" the blond complained, crossing his arms as he followed the other man through the water. He hummed as he watched the gunblader's hips move up and down.

"Stop looking at me like that or I'll kill you." Leon scowled and kept swimming determinedly away. "Besides, it's not _our_ job. It's _my_ job and you just happen to keep coming along. Personally, I _like_ a break from Radiant Garden."

The swordsman frowned. "Hmm. Not a very good break if you don't get to enjoy it."

The brunet snorted. "I like it just fine. You're the one that always gets bored and complains." He paused as he heard voices—one feminine, the other _definitely_ Sora's—then sighed and squeezed through a nearby crack; Ariel had said that that had been a good hiding spot that Kairi and Sora might like.

Once inside the nook, he peered around the dim area, then frowned. Perhaps he'd been mistaken. The echoes around here could give him migraines for years, if he really—

"Ack!" Leon squirmed as he was slammed into a wall, then growled in annoyance. "_Cloud,_ I don't—"

"You know, the first time we came here, I decided to learn about dolpins after we went home because this body seemed interesting," Cloud cooed, leaning his lips against the brunet's ear. "There was one little tidbit of information I found _especially_ interesting."

The brunet shivered as the younger man rubbed their hips together but resolutely tried to keep from giving in. "A-and what would that be, C-Cloud?"

The younger man chuckled and nuzzled his throat lightly. "Dolphins have sex for reasons other than reproduction, and they sometimes exhibit homosexual behavior. Shouldn't we experience those ourselves?"

"CLOUD—"

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Sometimes I wish we wouldn't have to go home," Kairi sighed, frowning, as she followed Sora back toward the ship.

"Yeah, well, sometimes Leon is sent after me and I wanted to get back before he can yell at me for staying longer than I said I would again," Sora replied, rolling his eyes. "I don't see why Aerith and Tifa send him, though; they don't need to be so protective."

She rolled her eyes as well. "Sora, your mom _did_ only give you permission to travel the worlds again if you sent her a letter every week. And the only computer capable of that is in Radiant Garden right now."

"Oh. Yeah."

"SORA!"

The teen let out a yelp as something crashed into him. "Leon?"

Leon grabbed him and used him as a human shield. "Yes. Hello. I've been sent to come get you again."

Sora looked up at him in confusion. "Why are you—_AAAAhhhhh!_" He screamed as Cloud came rushing toward him only to stop abruptly. "…Oh my God!"

"Yeah. So… Let's just… _go…_" Leon mumbled, keeping Sora between him and Cloud the entire time.

"I don't like being your human shield! At least not against Cloud!"

Kairi sighed loudly and grabbed both of the brunets' hands, swimming away from the fuming blond. "Come on."

She knew that Cloud wouldn't dare to try and attack his lover now. There was something about females in general that terrified him—which explained his curious submission to Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie.

Besides, she knew dolphin mating habits because of a school project, and she wanted Leon to remember Atlantica for the fish, not the… _fun_ that Cloud had in mind.


	15. O is for Oasis: M

Author's Note: YES, I'm aware that there are no wolves in the Pride Lands. However… I DON'T CARE. **X3** Also… the ending is lame. Or at least, lamer than should be allowed after the awesome beginning.

Or I'm just effing full of myself again. -_-

Edit (08-04-10): ARGH! I forgot to mention that YOU ALL SHOULD THANK BRUKLEFLESCHE FOR THIS CHAPTER. It was entirely her idea. Just fyi. AND I'M SORRY I DIDN'T PUT THIS IN BEFORE BECAUSE I FORGOT TO GIVE CREDIT WHERE IT WAS DUE! *dies*

O is for Oasis

Cloud sighed. He knew he was different from the rest of his pack, and usually that wouldn't bother him, since they'd treat him the same way they'd treat each other, but there were just some times that the wolves that were his family just _couldn't_ treat him the same way. Like when everyone his age (relatively) had mates and he did not.

He sighed again and looked down at his front paws. They looked so different. Furless, with wiggly little appendages that he could use to grasp and pick up things. His body was mostly furless, actually, covered with only the sparsest patches of hair. Well, he did have fur around his waist, but that was mostly because of the zebra-pelt loincloth.

Cloud jerked slightly as he heard something crashing through the foliage nearby and scampered into a bush; without his pack, he could hardly protect himself from a lion or something of that nature. He heard rustling, and then a long, low sigh as something dropped to the ground. He waited for a few moments, then hesitantly pulled a small branch aside to peer out at the creature that had caused him to hide.

His heart nearly stopped.

The creature looked an awful lot like him, with little fur and wiggly appendages on his front paws. His body was slighter in frame, though, as if he was more for speed and less for muscle than Cloud was. His hair was a different color, too, and longer. His body was covered with more animal skin, though, encasing his legs and torso to protect it from the unforgiving sun of the desert.

Cloud paused a moment longer to see if the creature would stir, then made his way over to it, timidly reaching out to brush his fur out of his face. When he saw the brunet's face, he growled quietly in approval; even with that scar across his face, he was incredibly good-looking. Besides, the scar just proved that he was good in battle.

He rolled the other creature onto his back and tilted his head, eyeing the furs he was wearing curiously. He tugged and pulled at them until he could see the smooth skin beneath it, and he found he rather liked his furless body uncovered. He leaned down to snuffle along his throat and hummed; he approved of the other man's scent.

He jumped a little as the brunet groaned and struggled upward, then jumped again as the other creature yelped when it saw him and tried to scamper away.

He wasn't willing to let him go when he'd realized he wasn't alone; he grabbed the brunet and wrestled him to the ground, growling and pressing his teeth to his throat, trying to force him into submission. Unfortunately, the other man seemed unwilling to submit, instead choosing to struggle wildly.

Cloud admired his pride and determination, but a kick had been much too close to his own pride for him to put up with the struggle any more. Snarling, he closed his paw and slammed it against the brunet's skull. It would leave a nasty bruise, but as the smaller man was knocked out and couldn't struggle anymore, it would save him from more pain in the long run after dragging him back to the den.

He pet the brunet's head gently in a silent apology for knocking him out, then nuzzled his temple. He was nearly giddy with excitement; he finally had someone to call a mate!

.-.-.-.-.-.

Leon groaned as he came to consciousness again. His head throbbed painfully, so it took him a few moments to remember a struggle before he was hit in his brief stretch of awareness. He jerked upward and let out a mewl of pain as his head throbbed even harder in protest. Grasping his head to try and dull the pain, he squinted his eyes open, thankful for the dim lighting.

That was about when he realized he had no clothes on, and he decided he should really figure out where he was instead of worry about the pounding against his brain. "Oh shit!"

He was about to jump to his feet and run out of what he now saw was a cave, but a hand on his chest quickly shoved him back to the ground. "Ow! What the he—" Leon cut himself off when he noticed the blue eyes gazing at him, then frowned. "…Who are you?"

The blond tilted his head, then leaned down and snuffled his throat, sliding a hand down between his thighs.

Leon yelped and shoved him away immediately. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

The other man scowled at him, as if offended, then growled and grabbed his knees, somehow easily prying them apart.

"WHAT THE HELL—LET ME GO-!" The brunet squirmed wildly as the other man pressed him into the ground, letting out a snarl as his wrists were caught and pressed above his head. "I swear to God I'll kill you!" He gasped and bit his bottom lip as the blond began to grind up against him. "Oh God!" He squirmed again and mewed as the other man began humping him slowly. "Oh God, oh God—you can't be doing this to me—oh my _God—_"

Leon blushed as he felt himself growing aroused, struggling wildly to get his hands free to push him away. However, as the wild man continued to thrust against him, he found his will to escape fading; it had been quite some time since he'd had some decent sex, and now he had someone trying to pleasure him and…

…Yes. He was desperate enough to do it with a man who wasn't all there, actually.

But he had to protest at least a little, to comfort himself into thinking he wasn't a totally pathetic _loser._

"Nn-! Don't-!" He moaned and curled his legs around the blond's waist, arching his back and jerking his hips upward to meet his thrusts. "Nn, that's good—Oh, God, I've been single way too long—_ha!_" Leon gasped in surprise as the wild man released his wrists in favor of grasping his waist and humping him harder. "Oh! Yes!" Reaching up to dig his nails into the blond's back, he moaned helplessly, eyes rolling back as their erections ground together. "_Way_ too long—yes—yes—harder—"

Leon was certain that the other man couldn't understand a word he was saying, but could apparently read his body language a lot better than most people, as he began grinding and thrust faster and harder. The brunet groaned and gasped, bucking up against him wildly as other man growled and pulled him closer.

The friction was too much after going so long without being touched by another person—especially with as hard as the blond was grinding into him, growling in his ear and biting at his neck and shoulder. He could only let out a long, low keen as he came, digging his nails into the blond's back as he arched up against him.

He heard the wild man grunt before he stilled on top of him, hips pressed firmly together as he snuffled his throat and hummed his satisfaction. Rolling onto his side, he sighed and pulled the brunet closer, snuggling up against him and humming happily.

Leon waited until he was sure the wild man was asleep before carefully extricating himself from his arms. "I am _so_ pathetic. Honestly." He looked down at the blond for a moment, petting the spiky yellow hair, then sighed and stood up, running a hand through his hair as he became aware of the self-disgust he'd been ignoring during the whole escapade. He felt dirty—not because he'd given in so easily, but because he'd allowed a man who obviously had no idea of what his actions meant do it.

Rgh. He was really pathetic.

Sighing again, he turned and went to the mouth of the cave. He recognized the shape of the rocks in the distance as the same place the lions he and his team were studying lived. If he was careful and planned right, he could get back to camp and dressed before anyone noticed him and merely excuse himself as having gotten lost while tracking another lion.

Leon grimaced. He was truly pathetic.

.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud let out a pathetic whine and sniffed around for his mate's scent, but his nose just wasn't sensitive enough to track it. _'Mine! I had my mate! Where did he go?'_

'_You got a mate? SQUEE!'_

The blond flinched as his pack-mate bounced up to him, looking quite pleased. _'Zack, not now!'_

'_But you finally got a mate! Where is she?'_ The black wolf looked around expectantly.

'_I can't find __**him.**__ He. Male. …My male…'_ Cloud sat back and sighed forlornly. _'I finally got a mate and he ran away. I think I frightened him.'_

Zack blinked. _'…So where would the—'_

'_Can you stop worrying about the methods of two males having sex and help me find my mate?'_ the blond snarled, glaring at him.

The wolf whined and pawed at the air in his general direction. _'But there are two penises and I wanna know where they would go!'_

'_ZACK—'_

'_**I'll**__ help you, Cloud. …Zackary, I'll show you how two males do it later,'_ Sephiroth stated firmly, then began sniffing around. He snorted in distaste immediately. _'Rgh! He smells like lion! Oh, you sure know how to pick your mate, hairless one.'_

Cloud snarled again. _'Don't call me that!'_

.-.-.-.-.-.

Leon frowned he heard a long, low howl, then shivered. "Rgh, I have a bad feeling all of the sudden…"

"The same feeling you got right before I ate those berries?" Yuffie asked, looking up at him innocently. "'Cause that was pretty bad."

"You should have asked the guides if they were safe to eat!" the brunet snapped, glaring at her. "Honestly! Sometimes I wonder who hits you with a stupid stick when my back is turned!"

She gasped in affront. "_Leon!_"

"Well it's tru—oooh!" Leon yelped as he was tackled to the ground, then turned immediately to try and force the predator off. He paled a little when he recognized glowing blue eyes and spiky yellow hair. "Oh _God._"

The blond mewled and rubbed his cheek against the other man's lovingly.

"…Well! This is an exciting discovery!" Aerith stated after a moment.

Yuffie frowned thoughtfully, placing a finger on her chin as she looked upward in thought. "I didn't know there were wolves in Africa…"

"Wolves!" Leon yelped, horrified. "Oh God! He thinks I'm his mate!"

"…Wouldn't that require—" the younger girl began, only to be elbowed sharply by the other woman. "Ow!"

Aerith smiled sweetly. "Well, Leon, just think of this as a great time to study the wolves! Isn't it exciting? We didn't even know there _were_ wolves in Africa!"

The brunet yelped again as the wild man growled and began to rub against him suggestively, then immediately stood. "We'll be right back!"

The two women watched him scamper into a tent, then turned to watch the blond whine and crawl after him. Once they were inside, the zipper slid shut quickly.

Then, they heard a frantic, "Oh shit! Will you calm down? _Stop biting me there I'll get my pants off myself!_"

"…Let's go observe the lions," Aerith decided, grabbing her friend's wrist and dragging her away.

Yuffie whined. "Aw, but _Aerith_—"

"You can bother him _later,_ Yuffie. For now, let him get used to being some missing link's mate."

"…_Fine_…"


	16. P is for Postern: M

Author's Notes: …I talk to brukleflesche, and these things happen. **:|**

P is for Postern

"Cloud?"

Cloud hummed and continued kneading his lover's back. "Yes…?"

Leon frowned. "Why are you so horny? I mean, I realize that the mako has something to do with it, but Sephiroth never seemed to have any problems with it."

"…Well…" The blond frowned and stood up straight, ignoring the disgruntled grunt from the older man as he stopped massaging him. "Hmm. I guess no one's really cared to ask that before. See, when SOLDIERs were first injected with the mako, scientists hadn't discovered the side-effect of hyper-arousal; the mice and rats they'd tested it on hadn't displayed anything like that. I don't really understand it myself, but apparently the mako just attacked and stimulated the part of the brain that just made it go 'SEX NOW PLEASE.'"

"…So all SOLDIERS were perverts?" the brunet asked, raising an eyebrow as he turned to look at him. He leaned against the rail surrounding the postern and sighed, brows furrowing together. "…Huh."

Cloud crossed his arms and moved to lean against the rail as well. "Actually, it was only initially like that, but then the scientists made a counter agent—not enough to completely kill our libidos, but enough that people weren't humping each other all the time. …Until they made the counter-agent, though, we all pretty much had 'I-just-got-laid' expressions for months."

"Hmm. Interesting." Leon ruminated over what he just heard for a few minutes, trying to take everything in and rationalize it, then frowned in confusion. "…But… Cloud… you're still outrageously horny."

The blond frowned as well. "…Oh. Yeah." Turning to face the other man, he smiled bitterly. "I wasn't _important_ enough to be given the counter-agent immediately—and then Sephiroth went bat-shit psycho and killed everything in sight, so everything was put on hold until we could stop him. I was actually getting ready to leave so I could get the injection when the Heartless attacked. Then, everything went to hell, I ended up in the Coliseum, and… here we are."

"Oh." The gunblader bit his bottom lip as the blond snorted in contempt for the whole situation and turned his gaze away. He tilted his head as he watched him, thinking about how different he might be if he'd gotten the injection—if he would have even survived the Heartless attack if he'd had it. "…Cloud?"

"What?" He was in a terribly bad mood, now that he'd remembered something he'd been so intent on blocking out.

"…I like you the way you are," Leon stated quietly. "Even if you really annoy me sometimes with your raging libido."

Cloud turned to look at him in surprise, then smiled a little and reached out to pull him into his arms. "That's good to hear. I couldn't bear it if you didn't like me. Though I'd still be willing to get the injection if someone could make it and you wanted me to."

"I just said that I like you the way you are, you _moron._ Though if they discovered something that could reverse the damage that someone's done to you with a stupid stick, I would get it for you in a heartbeat. …Even if it cost me so much money I had to sell my gunblade."

The blond frowned. "…But you love your gunblade."

"That's the point I'm trying to make, Cloud," Leon sighed, rolling his eyes, then leaned up to give him a soft kiss. "Oh, what am I going to do with you? You're lucky you're cute."

Cloud huffed. "You're always calling me stupid. Why?"

"…Because it's _true._" Leon smiled at him sweetly to try and take some of the sting out of it. "Face it, Cloud. You're not the shiniest coin in the fountain."

"Yeah, well…" The younger man huffed, then growled and caught his earlobe between his teeth lightly. "At least I don't _think_ all the time. I swear, before we fall asleep, I can actually _hear_ the gears in your head moving."

The brunet bit his bottom lip and hummed, arching against him slightly. "Well, it can soothe you to sleep then."

"Sometimes I just wanna throw a wrench in your brain and see what happens; maybe your thought processes will shut down and I'll be able to see you speechless." Cloud growled again and slid his hands around to begin dipping into his pants. "I'd pay anything to see that."

"Nn—Cloud, we're outside—Anyone could see us—" Despite protesting, Leon shifted his body obligingly to allow him to undo his belt and pants and push them down his hips. When the blond attacked his lips, he pressed up against him and moaned, only grunting quietly when he was turned and pressed against the railing. "Mmn-! Cloud—Oh, God—"

The blond purred and slid his pants down, then settled between the older man's legs. "My kitten's so pretty…"

"I'm not a kitten!" the brunet snapped, glaring at him, only to let out a quiet mewl when the swordsman began pressing into him.

"Really? Because you mew like a kitten—a kitten that's just gotten away with eating the canary _and_ getting a bowl of cream," Cloud murmured, smirking, as the brunet grabbed the back of his shirt tightly. "Make that noise again, kitten."

Leon mewled again as a twitch of the blond's hips had him grinding into him in a way that had him squirming in pleasure. "Oh God Cloud-!" He lifted one of his hands to dig into the blond's spiky hair and hooked his legs over his hips. "Nn…! Yes…" He clawed at the swordsman's shoulder and arched his back. "Faster!"

Cloud growled quietly and rested one of his hands on the rail before he obediently began humping him faster. "Such a demanding little kitten…" He grunted quietly as the brunet punched his shoulder, then chuckled and leaned in for a kiss. "Feisty today."

"If you keep talking I'll _kill you—_Oh fuck!" The brunet bit his bottom lip as a hand wrapped around his erection and clung harder. "Nn, Cloud…!"

"Fuck, fuck-! Nn…!" Cloud growled as the brunet clenched down on him and bit at his throat, thrusting against him a few last times before he reached his climax.

Leon tossed his head back and gasped as the stroking hand on his shaft brought him to his own completion, back arching as he came. "Cloud!"

The blond purred and licked at the bite mark on his neck for a few moments, perfectly content to stay there all night and have sex a few more times. However, his super-hearing caught the sound of footsteps.

"Ack!" Leon yelped as his clothes were hurriedly restored to order. "Cloud, what are you—Watch the zipper! I like my dick and I do _not_ appreciate you trying to cut it—COLD!" He shivered as the blond used Blizzaga on him. "What the he—HOT! CLOUD, WHAT THE HELL?" he exclaimed angrily after having Fira cast on him to melt the ice and dry the resulting water.

"I thought you'd appreciate it," Cloud replied.

"Why would I—Rrgh!" The brunet kneed him in the gut, snarling. A few moments later, however, when someone called his name, he suddenly understood. "…Oh. Sorry."

The younger man grunted. "No, I probably should have said something."

"Leon! Sora has a gummi piece he wants to learn about and Cid won't explain it to him in terms he can understand because he thinks it's funny!" Yuffie called, waving at them from the end of the path. She paused in confusion. "…Is Cloud alright?"

"I'm fine…"

"He's fine!" Leon replied, reaching down to pat the blond's head. "Don't worry. We'll be there as soon as he can walk."

"Okay! See you later!" The ninja waved again before disappearing in a poof of smoke.

The brunet looked down at his lover and frowned. "Thanks for cleaning me up, but maybe next time you could say something so I don't think you're just doing it for fun."

"I will take that into consideration next time," Cloud muttered, struggling to his feet.

Leon patted his shoulder awkwardly. "…I'm really sorry."

The blond sighed and stood up straight, ignoring the small tingle of pain that was quickly diminishing as he healed. "I know. It's okay." He stretched a little, then grabbed the older man's hand. "Let's go. Sora is probably tired of feeling stupid. …Which is often how I feel when you and Cid speak to each other."

"It's not my fault you and Sora are technologically challenged," the gunblader replied, allowing the blond to lead.

"You pour water in the coffee machine and press a button. That's all the technology I need to know," Cloud deadpanned.

Leon snorted but kept the thought that the blond's adamant refusal to learn more about computers was adorable to himself.


	17. Q is for Queen's Court: M

Author's Note: AU for the win! Enjoy!

Q is for Queen's Court

Leon frowned as he passed just outside the entrance to the Queen's court. He could hear her screeching; he knew someone was on trial. The question was… did he want to peek in and help the poor fool that had garnered the Queen of Heart's fury?

Oh, curse his curiosity!

Peering into the court area, the brunet couldn't help a hum of approval as his eyes landed on the muscular, spiky-haired blond man with his hands cuffed behind his back. _'Well. That's certainly a reason to get involved.'_

Any beheading would be postponed until the next day, as supper time was approaching. That would be the time to do any helping.

.-.-.-.-.-.

"You look troubled."

Cloud jerked his head upward quickly, immediately searching for guards, but instead just found a man wearing tight, brown leather pants and a silver leather vest. He also noticed a brown, feline tail and twitching brown ears with silver stripes. "…Who are you?"

"They call me Leon. …Well, the ones that know me call me Leon. The Queen calls me 'pet' or 'nuisance,' depending on her mood," the brunet replied. He leaned toward the bars of the bird-cage like prison Cloud found himself trapped in until it was 'off with his head' at dawn. "Though it's mostly 'nuisance,' since I'm not a 'pet' sort of feline unless I find the _right_ person."

The blond frowned in confusion. "What does that have to do with me?"

Leon crouched to be eye-to-eye with him, silver eyes glowing in the darkness. "I saw you and thought you were good-looking. I'll help you if you help me."

Cloud's eyebrows furrowed together. "…How could I ever help you?" Then, he immediately felt stupid at the look he was given—even though he had no idea why.

"Do you know how to have sex?" Leon asked bluntly.

The blond blinked. "…Yes."

"With another man?"

"…Yes."

"Then we can help each other," the brunet assured, pulling a bobby pin out of his hair. When the human gave him a confused stare, he scowled. "I live with girls, okay? They like to do my hair. …Stop giving me that patronizing look."

Realizing that this humanoid feline was helping him, Cloud quickly schooled his face into a blank mask; it was better than accidentally pissing him off and being left to have his head chopped off.

Leon picked the lock open, then stood back and opened the door. "Oh my; it appears the lock was faulty and the Queen's prisoner has _gotten away._"

"…Well, would you look at that," the blond murmured, standing. He took a moment to enjoy the freedom before looking back at his savior. "Well? You said I could help you. Let's get somewhere we can do that."

"Oh thank _God_ you're not as dense as you first let on," the feline moaned in relief, then grabbed his arm and began dragging him toward the hedges. "I know shortcuts. Come on."

.-.-.-.-.-.

"Mmmyu!" Leon mewled and arched his back as the hands on his hips dragged him down onto the blond's cock harder, digging his claws lightly into the human's chest. "Oh God yes you're so good…!"

Cloud growled and thrust up into him, a quiet moan escaping his lips when the brunet's fluffy tail curled around his arm. "You're so pretty, Leon. Will you be _my_ pet?"

"Ngh, yesss…" The feline man groaned and clenched down as the blond caught his erection and began stroking it, hips thrusting erratically until their positions suddenly switched and he was pounded roughly into the bed. "Ah! Uh! Yes! Mooore…!" He dug his claws into the blond's back and moaned. "Yes…!"

"Such a needy little kitty… I'll have to take _special_ care of you," the human cooed, gripping the brunet's shaft harder.

"Nnngaaaaah…! I'm going to—nnngh…" Leon arched his back, tail unconsciously curling around the blond's waist as he dragged his claws down the other man's back. "Ffffuck! _Ah!_"

Cloud grunted quietly in pain but ignored it, instead slamming into the tightening channel to reach his own climax. "God, you're like a _vice._"

"Nnnn…" The brunet purred as he felt the other man release inside him and began kneading his shoulders. "You're very good at this. You should stay with me and do me more often."

"…That is the _best_ suggestion I've ever heard," the blond replied. "But we're going to have to put in a door."

Leon frowned and turned his head to look up at the window they'd come in through to get to his home. "I think the window's fine."

"You can climb up to it with your claws. I had a _terrible_ time getting in here, Leon. I need a door because I can't keep cooped up in here."

The brunet sighed and frowned petulantly. "Fine. I _suppose_ I can accommodate you. But only because you're good in bed and I'm too busy to find someone else."

Cloud smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what is it that you do that keeps you so busy?"

"Making things difficult for the Queen of Hearts. Because she's a bitch," Leon stated. Turning a sly glance on the blond, he smirked. "You're welcome to help me."

"Hmm. I may just take you up on that," the human replied, rolling over to stretch out on the plush, pillow-like bed beside him. "After I finish making a door."

The brunet snorted and snuggled up to him. "Still hung up on your stupid _door._ I don't see why you can't learn to climb like me."

Cloud sat up to glare at him. "I cannot scale a cement wall with just my bare hands!"


	18. R is for Restoration Site: K Plus

Author's Notes: IT'S BEEN HOW LONG? …I'm sorry. **:(**

R is for Restoration Site

Cloud knew something was wrong when he saw Yuffie sprinting toward him. He could practically feel the terror and panic rolling from her aura in waves—not to mention the smell of cold sweat.

The ninja bashed into him without even bothering to try and stop. "Cloud! Cloud, come-!"

"Yuffie, calm down. Tell me what's going on first," he ordered calmly.

"The crane—restoration site—it just, boom, and—Leon—and _Sora!_"

Cloud scowled. "I'll slap you."

Yuffie gesticulated wildly in the direction she'd come from. "The crane was lifting some steel supports and all of the sudden it just _snapped_ and the claw and all of the supports came crashing down on where Leon was showing Sora how to do something to help out with restoration and we keep calling but no one answers!"

Once he'd figured out what she'd said and had registered it properly, the blond turned her around and gave her a shove. "Go get Aerith and tell her, then go find Tifa. I'll go see what I can do."

He made sure she was well on her way before finally taking off at a sprint, making it to the restoration site and finding the area of the accident in just two minutes. It took everything he had not to just start pulling the supports to find his lover; he knew that losing his head wouldn't help him. He just had to focus for if—no, _when—_they got Leon and Sora out from the mess.

The smell of blood wasn't comforting, though.

"Cloud!"

Cloud turned sharply, surprised. "Tifa? What are you-?"

"I came to help out today; I figured that Penelo could handle the bar herself during the day and I heard that they needed some help… You've heard?" Tifa asked quietly, frowning, and turned to look at the pile of metal beams. "Someone went to go get Merlin so he could use magic to lift the supports without doing anymore damage, but… who knows how badly they've been hurt already?"

He was ready to leap on the pile and rip it apart then and there. Luckily, Tifa knew him well, so she caught the back of his vest to keep him from doing so. "Hold on there, lover boy!"

"But—I—smell—blood," Cloud ground out, shaking in frustration. He wanted to help, wanted to save his lover, wanted to make sure both he and Sora were safe—

"Oh my, this really is a mess!" Merlin frowned and stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I don't know how long I'll be able to hold something of that weight in the air, but I'll try my best."

Tifa frowned as she watched the blond she was holding back begin to tremble. "…I'll run in and grab Sora, and you can grab Leon, okay? Be careful, though. If you smell blood, they're probably hurt."

Cloud didn't even nod, because by the time she'd finished speaking, Merlin had raised the support beams enough to go under, and he saw the two limp bodies lying there, so he just rushed under the still rising metal and stopped at his lover's side. He gave him a quick examination (he didn't want to aggravate a wound to his spine and cripple him, for example), then gently pulled the gunblader into his arms.

It had taken a matter of seconds, but it had felt like forever, especially when he's seen the trickle of blood from the brunet's hairline.

Holding Leon in an upright position, Cloud frowned and traced his forehead with his fingertips. "I can't even yell at you for this being your fault, Leon. You're not supposed to get hurt on the restoration site. It's like your second home."

Aerith would probably be a few minutes, still. He could heal the brunet a little, but he should really wait for her expertise. That didn't stop him from worrying.

When he saw the older man's eyebrow twitch a little, his breath caught in his throat. He waited a few moments with bated breath, gasping quietly in relief when his lover groaned. "Leon? Are you awake?"

"My head hurts…" Leon's brows twitched together in a mildly agitated expression even though his eyes refused to open. "Whatever gave me this migraine… kill it. Kill it immediately." He frowned for a moment. "…Unless it's Sora. Just smack him then."

Cloud chuckled quietly—more in relief than amusement. "You had an accident, you idiot. You're lucky you're not hurt more."

"Mm. That explains a lot." The brunet grimaced as he shifted his body, but he still resolutely lifted his hand to grasp the swordsman's vest. "…I don't think I'll be able to make dinner tonight. Or sex. I know you say I can just lay there and do nothing, but—"

"I would never ask you to push yourself after a serious injury," the blond chided. "You should know better."

Leon frowned. "I must _really_ be hurt if you're scolding me. How bad is it? …Am I going to lose a limb?"

Cloud brushed a hand against his cheek. "I don't think so. You'll have to wait for Aerith to tell you. She's just finishing up with Sora."

"I think I'd rather lose my arm. Not my sword arm, the other arm. I can do things with one hand. If I just had one leg, I wouldn't be able to do as much. Besides, I like when you kiss my legs."

"You're not losing anything," the blond began, unable to help a smile, and looked up as Aerith came to kneel beside them. "How is Sora?"

She smiled and shrugged a little. "Oh, you know Sora. Sometimes his thick skull is frustrating, other times it saves his life. He was just a little banged up, and he'll have a lump on the side of his head for a while, but otherwise, he's right as rain." She turned her attention to the gunblader. "Let's see what we have here."

"I'd rather lose an arm than a leg. Remember that if I need any life-changing surgeries."

Aerith raised an eyebrow and turned her gaze on Cloud. "Any idea what he's talking about, Cloud, or should I worry about concussion?"

The blond looked up at her seriously. "I have no idea. Perhaps he has nerve damage and believes he has an injury somewhere else."

Leon scowled and managed the strength to grab the blond's hair and yank. "_Hey!_ You know exactly what I'm talking about!"

Cloud chuckled quietly and gently forced the brunet's fingers to release his spikes. "Just teasing, kitten."

"You're lucky I'm in pain or I'd really hurt you," the older man growled, then mewed quietly in pain as he felt a gentle but nauseating touch on his head, mind twisting at the pain. "Gonna be sick-!"

Aerith frowned. "Oh, dear, you should stay in bed for a few days, Leon. I'm afraid you'll have dizziness from standing too long. I know you don't like staying still when there's so much work to be done, so I'll come check on you every day, okay?"

Leon grumbled to himself, but eventually nodded petulantly. "Alright."

"And I expect you to take care of him, Cloud; I know he'll probably be sick of chicken soup by the time Leon's better, but I want him on a liquid diet until I'm certain he won't suffer from vertigo and either topple over or be struck by nausea," she added, turning her gaze on the blond. "Take him home and put some ice on that lump, okay?"

Cloud nodded slightly. "Alright." He watched her get up and walk over to tend to others injured in the accident, then held the brunet in his arms tighter. "…You scared me, kitten."

Leon frowned. "Mm. 'm sorry. I'll try not to let unforeseen acts of God hurt me anymore."

"Ha, ha, ha. …Just… don't walk under cranes anymore."

"…I'll see what I can do about that."


	19. S is for Sunset Hill: K

S is for Sunset Hill

"…This is stupid," Leon stated bluntly, but settled against his lover's side nonetheless.

Cloud shrugged carelessly. "I don't mind. It's more romantic than the Underworld, right?"

"You have a point." The brunet tilted his head. "…What's with you trying to be romantic all of the sudden? Not that I don't appreciate it, but… it's weird. It makes me paranoid that you're going to do something that will piss me off."

"What, I can't just take you out to a different world, buy you some sea-salt ice-cream, and watch the sunset with you beneath a tree?" the swordsman asked, appearing offended.

Leon gave him a skeptical look. "You could have bought me sea-salt ice-cream and watched the sunset in Radiant Garden."

"That's not nearly as romantic." The blond huffed in annoyance.

The gunblader settled against his side, silent for a while, before murmuring, "Why are we here, Cloud?"

Oh, crap. He'd been found out.

Sighing, Cloud shrugged. "…Tifa and Aerith mentioned that I should… 'put some effort' into our relationship."

Leon immediately scowled at that. "Tifa and Aerith should just mind their own freaking _business._ You put plenty of effort into our relationship."

The blond tilted his head. "…How?"

"…Well. Um." The brunet frowned. "…Oh! You keep the bed warm."

Cloud tilted his head to give him a deadpan stare. "Is that all I'm good for?"

"Hmm. Well, I guess not." The gunblader frowned thoughtfully. "…You're good at protecting yourself, so I only have to worry about whether you're getting too depressed or not. You keep the bathroom clean, and you do the dishes after dinner. You spar with me without arguing about what I'll have to do for you in return. And you're a really good kisser."

"None of those sound very… romantic," the blond stated after a moment, frowning as well. "Well, except the kissing. …Am I really that bad at being romantic?"

Leon blinked before looking up at him in confusion. "…What are you talking about? I like you the way you are. If you were too romantic, I'd probably think you were overly queer and go find someone more butch."

"Ah, that makes me feel amazing." Cloud sighed quietly. "…If you don't want me to be romantic, why do you read all of those romance novels?" He saw a tint of pink across his lover's cheeks just before he was elbowed in the gut. "Nngh-!"

"I read those romance novels because when I was at the orphanage, that's mostly what Matron kept there!" the older man ground out. "And I only _like_ them because I'm reading about other people! If someone wrote a romance novel about _us_ and it was all fluffy-happy-simple, I'd probably vomit!"

"…Oh." Cloud glanced around the grassy hill, frowning, then looked down at the brunet, brows furrowing together. "…You don't like this?"

Leon looked up at him and sighed. "…I like it a lot, Cloud. But I also like your inability to grasp what is and isn't romantic. Getting a rosebush for Valentine's Day instead of just a few roses was actually… kind of… cute."

The blond smiled smugly. "Hmm, so you admit I can be romantic without a shove from the girls?"

"…I'm admitting something, but it sure as hell isn't that," the older man replied, then laid his head on the blond's shoulder. "Shut up and let me enjoy the sunset, Cloud."

Cloud hummed, thinking for a moment that he might not just to piss him off, but the sunset really _was_ pretty, and he _did_ have his kitten in his arms. So, he settled himself more comfortably against the tree, gave Leon's shoulders a little squeeze, and enjoyed the sunset.


	20. T is for Tea Party Garden: T

Author's Note: I KNOW I'M TERRIBLE I'M SORRY! D**:** I apologize sincerely for not updating sooner.

* * *

T is for Tea Party Garden

Cloud was beginning to regret meeting Leon's friends. They were all staring at him in a manner that he found intimidating—which was embarrassing, because all of Leon's friends were _girls._

"Some sugar for your tea, Cloud?" Yuffie asked innocently.

The blond glanced down at the cup in her hands. "Some tea for your sugar, Yuffie?"

As the hat-maker pouted at him, Aerith smiled sweetly. "You really _shouldn't_ put so much sugar in your tea, Yuffie."

"It's her tea party. Let her drink what she wants." Tifa shrugged.

Cloud couldn't help but stare at the three girls as they then turned as one and began paying more attention to Leon.

Yuffie would have been a great hat-maker if she spent more time actually making hats and less time pretending she was a ninja princess. He wouldn't say she was terrible at being a ninja, though. In fact, she was nearly too good. It was scary—especially when she could use her hat as a deadly weapon. It would have sliced his arm had Leon not jerked him out of the way!

Aerith was kind enough, he supposed, if not a little too interested in other people's lives. Then again, as a dormouse, she was quite polite about it, nosing in subtly with innocent little 'so how have you been's and 'what have you been up to's. The way she'd looked at him when Leon had bluntly explained that he'd saved his ass from the Queen and were now sleeping together had been… disturbing. It had been a polite smile, but that polite smile had had an undertone of 'if you hurt Leon I will stab your eyes out and leave you on the Queen's doorstep.'

Tifa… was not a hare he wanted to mess with. While she was pretty and very well endowed, she was also very muscular. …She'd lifted up the table to help Aerith reach something she'd dropped. And, while he could tell that she might be interested in some carnal pleasures with him, he suddenly realized he much preferred his purring little kitty. …Also, Tifa looked like she could beat him to a pulp if he ever hurt _any_ of her friends.

"—Right, Cloud? …Cloud?" Leon blinked at him when he received no answer, then rolled his eyes when he saw the glazed-over expression on the blond's face. Turning back to his friends, he shrugged. "Thinking is obviously such a difficult thing for him to do that he can't multitask."

Yuffie spewed her tea over the table before dissolving into giggles. "You're so meeean!"

"If he's such an idiot, why keep him around?" Tifa asked, handing her napkin to Aerith, who had received the brunt of the ninja-hatter's spit.

"Because he's good in bed." The feline frowned. "And he likes to cuddle. I like cuddling when I sleep. He's warm." He paused, then added, "And he's sexy."

"…Good enough for me!" the hare decided, nodding firmly.

"Can I have pictures!" Yuffie asked, smiling widely, as she pulled a camera from beneath her hat.

Leon scowled. "No."

"Not even one? Of you just giving him a peck on the cheek?"

"_No,_ Yuffie."

Yuffie puffed her cheeks out in a pout but tucked her camera back under her hat. "Fine! I didn't really want pictures anyway!"

"Of course you didn't," the feline deadpanned.

Aerith finished dabbing the tea off of her face and turned a serious gaze on him. "You're sure he won't hurt you, Leon? I'd hate to have to actually stab his eyes out."

"I'm sure that if he hurts me, he won't mean to." Leon frowned and took a bite of his teacake. "He's a smart guy; he just has trouble articulating what he's thinking, so he looks stupid. And I'm terrible at figuring out other people, so sometimes we have misunderstandings, but I think we can work through it."

"…He's looking at Tifa like she's planning to rip his face off," Yuffie commented.

Leon turned sharply, shocked when he found the look of growing terror on the blond's face. He grabbed his sleeve and shook him quickly, turning back to his friends with a nervous smile. "Of course, he can also _over _think some things. Cloud. _Cloud,_ snap out of it."

Cloud jerked in his seat, sloshing some of his tea onto his lap. "Whazzat? Huh?" He blinked, then turned toward his lover in surprise. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"…Tifa won't hurt you if you don't hurt me," the brunet explained slowly, frowning. "So whatever you were thinking… ignore that."

"Okay. …There was a lot of blood, though…" The blond's brows furrowed together. "…I think I'll just stay at home from now on when you and your friends have tea…"

Leon stared at him for a few moments, wondering what the hell the other man had imagined that would scare him so much before nodding slowly. "…Okay…"

"…You always pick weird guys, Leon. Creepy, weird people that have wild imaginations," Tifa stated, rolling her eyes. "You _sure_ know how to pick 'em, Leon."

"Shut up! They're all really good in bed!" the feline hissed, tail bristling. "I can't help it if I'm attracted to pretty people!"

Aerith frowned. "…That's a terrible reason to sleep with someone."

"Good enough for me!"

Cloud looked back and forth between them for a few moments, then scowled. "I'm right _here_ you know."

"This is how you know we like each other. If you can't be mean to each other, you're not friends," Yuffie explained, smiling at him.

Cloud wondered if what she was saying was actually true with everyone, or if it was just her madness that made it true with these few people.


	21. U is for Undersea Garden: K Plus

Author's Note: I'm so sorry, guys. I've been having computer troubles for quite some time, and it finally crapped out on me. Before that, my hard drive went haywire and just deleted some of the newer things I'd written—some of which were the next few chapters for this series. I was discouraged and frustrated and I turned away from this fic because I didn't feel like rewriting everything. I apologize for that.

* * *

U is for Undersea Garden

"I'm bored."

Leon snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yuffie, you're always bored." He paused, then added, "When you're not causing trouble that I will inevitably have to clean up."

Yuffie flinched a little. "I said I was sorry!"

"I had to go before King Triton to ask for your pardon, Yuffie. A simple 'sorry' does not even _begin_ to make up for it."

She all-out cringed this time; she hadn't meant for her practical joke to get so out of hand. "Um… I can make jellied jelly fish."

"I want two dozen jellied jelly fish, three dozen sweetened sardines, and six—no, ten—candy mackerel!" he snarled, spinning toward her. "Not to mention that I want you to do all my chores in the stables!"

Yuffie groaned. "But Leon, I _hate_ shoveling seahorse poop!"

Leon swam toward her and growled, "You know what I hate? Taking responsibility for your singlehanded destruction of one of the most important decorations for the ball coming up in—oh—_three_ days. You have terrible timing! Sebastian was almost ready to claw you to pieces!"

"Sebastian couldn't hurt me," she scoffed, only to flinch again under the glare the brunet gave her.

"That's. Not. The point," he hissed. "I can't wait until Aerith and Tifa get back so that _they_ can take responsibility for your actions instead of me!" He glanced down at the basket by his side, then turned to glare at her again. "And you could at least help me pick flowers for the centerpieces, Yuffie!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez…" Huffing petulantly, she began picking through the different flowers to find ones that matched what the other mer was picking. "No need to twist your tail in a knot…"

Leon turned to snarl at her again just in time to see Cloud slap her in the back of the head with the fins of his tail, sending her flying into the tangly seaweed. "…That was probably more satisfying than anything I could have said, anyway," he mumbled, watching her scream and struggle to get out of the green strands of plant as she cursed the blond with every curse she knew and a few she made up on the spot.

Cloud swam over to wrap his arms around him and sighed, nuzzling his neck gently. "Are you almost finished?"

"No, and I won't be finished for quite some time." The brunet squirmed and shoved him away, scowling. "And it will take even more time if a certain shark mer doesn't let me get my job done!"

The blond sighed and rolled his eyes, instead swimming up beside him and gazing at the different flowers and seaweeds. "So, just pick the same flowers you're picking?"

Leon turned to look up at him in surprise, then quickly looked back at the flowers he was picking. "Yeah. Try to stick with red and orange, but I suppose yellow and white are okay, too. Aerith will be able to figure something out when she gets back; she always does."

"That's because if Tifa hadn't needed her help in bartering something, she'd be picking them." Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes as the self-proclaimed ninja fish continued to shriek expletives at him and grabbed one of her fins to yank her free. "For such a great ninja, you sure seem to get into a lot of trouble."

"I'll kill you!" Yuffie shrieked, tackling him, and Leon sighed as the two began to wrestle.

That was okay, though. As long as they were bothering each other, they weren't bothering him, and that meant he could get more work done before the finished their brawl.


	22. V is for Vacant House: K Plus

Author's Note: This one is a little different, and I have to say, I sort of like the way it turned out. **:3**

* * *

V is for Vacant House

"Yeah. This'll do nicely," Leon muttered to himself, rubbing his chin, then sighed. "It's gonna take a lot of work."

Aerith smiled as she carried in a bucket and some rags. "When have you ever been afraid of a little hard work, Leon?"

"Hmm, never." The gunblade wielder managed a small smile. "I just wonder if this is all worth it. If Sora's supposed to be saving the worlds, what's the point of trying to make a home somewhere else?"

"We're not makin' a home," Cid muttered, stalking into the house and glancing around. He grunted. "We're makin' a place where ya kids c'n sleep so ya ain't takin' up m' floor!"

Leon snorted and rolled up his sleeves. "If it keeps me from getting stepped on in the morning while you're going out for a smoke, I'm all for it, then."

Yuffie muttered some choice words under her breath as she carried another bucket full of rags inside. "Stupid old man stepping on me while I'm sleeping! It's like he doesn't even care if anyone else is alive as long as he gets his smoke!"

"I heard that, ya little brat!" Cid roared, and the ninja yelped before dropping her bucket and rushing out of the house. The older man was quick to follow her.

Aerith sighed and narrowed her eyes after them, then pasted a smile back on her face. "Let's get started, shall we?"

"Right," Leon agreed. "We'll probably get more work finished with them gone, anyway." So saying, he began to carry out all of the loose boards and planks for Cid to use at the gummi ship dock later.

While he was doing that, Aerith went about dusting and washing the windows. Sometimes she'd take an armload of wood out of the house as well, but Leon was content to let her just clean while he did all the heavy lifting.

He could not ignore, however, her surprised scream, and immediately dropped the wood he was holding—accidentally causing his leg to slam into it midstep. Cursing, he fell, kicking the wood away as he rolled onto his hands and knees.

He scrambled back into the house quickly, drawing his gunblade in cause of Heartless. "Aerith-!" Leon could honestly say he was sort of annoyed when he saw that she wasn't in danger. That annoyance quickly faded, however, when he saw that she was clinging to something and crying. "Aerith, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Aerith turned, showing an armful of bloody bandages. "He—He—"

"He who? Aerith, don't touch those!" Leon snapped, snatching the bandages away from her. "Not with your bare hands!"

The healer sniffed and wiped her eyes on her arm, holding up a silver, blood-crusted pendant. "He was here. He's alive!"

The gunblader couldn't help a frustrated snarl. "He who! What the hell are you talking about!"

"Cloud!" Aerith covered her face with one hand as she held the wolf pendant to her chest. "I can't believe it! He's still alive! He's been here! He's probably looking everywhere for us!"

Leon huffed. "I'm sure he is," he replied after a moment.

He looked at the wad of bloody bandages in his hand and didn't mention that it was a lot of blood—too much for anyone to be looking for anybody, unless they were dead. Then again, Aerith was a healer, so she should have known that. Either she was so happy that she didn't care about rationality, or this person she was talking about didn't necessarily need all that much blood to live.

In any case, he'd comfort her for now and talk to her about it later. He could only imagine what Yuffie or Cid would say if they came across them now—

Yuffie gasped and rushed over to them. "Squally! What'd you say! Aerith, what'd that bully say to you!"

"I can beat 'im if ya want," Cid offered.

Leon sighed.


	23. W is for Waterfall Cavern: M

Author's Note: …I'll admit it. I just wanted a child!Tarzan and a child!Terk to come across wolf-man!Cloud having sex with leopard-man!Leon. Come on! It's hilarious!

* * *

W is for Waterfall Cavern

Leon sighed and scratched the back of his head, frowning. "…This is hopeless. Alright, Tineshi. I give." Hearing a chuckle, he turned, a lopsided smile curving his lips as he faced the young leopard. "You get better at hide-and-seek every day."

Tineshi purred and licked his paw, then sat up straight from his spot on a tree branch high above. "Mom said that someday I'll be the best hunter in the pride!"

"I think so, too." The brunet sat down beneath him and sighed. "I'll probably never be as good as you."

"Come on! You've got that stone fang! You could take down a hippo, I bet!" the leopard exclaimed. When the brunet gave him a disbelieving look, he shrugged. "Well… Maybe not a hippo. Maybe a gazelle."

"…Yeah."

Tineshi sighed as well and stood, back arching in a languid stretch. He yawned, then smacked his lips and leapt to the ground, turning to look at the bipedal leopard that was his brother. "Well, I'm going to head back to the den. Mom expects you home by dark. Remember that."

"I will. Gah!" Leon jerked away as the leopard licked his cheek, scrubbing at it in embarrassment. "Jeez, I'm not a cub anymore!"

"You'll always be _our cub,_" the leopard snarked, then squealed and leapt away before the brunet could slash him. "Gah! See ya at home, _kitten!_"

"Shut up!" the brunet roared, glaring after him, then scowled and crossed his arms. After a moment, he sighed, then turned and began toward the waterfall. Once he got close to it, he crouched down and carefully crawled behind it. "Ugh. Wet. I hate wet!"

"That's funny. You seem to like it when _I_ get you wet."

Leon yowled as he was yanked up against a hard, warm body, then scowled, dragging his nails down the blond's chest. "That's a different kind of wet, Cloud."

"Ngh!" Cloud hissed as the brunet's nails dug in harder, then bit down on his neck. "You're lucky you're cute!"

The brunet yowled again as he was shoved to the ground. "Cloud!"

"'m gonna fuck you so hard that you'll be nothing _but_ wet," the blond muttered, tearing the other man's loincloth away.

"Don't get too much of your scent on me or my pride will—Ngh-!" Leon shuddered as he felt the older man thrusting into him. "Ah-!"

Cloud grunted and began humping him quickly, gripping the slimmer man's hips so tight that he almost couldn't move them. "Those stupid fleabags can deal with it. It's not _your_ fault you like to be fucked by a wolf."

The brunet yowled helplessly and clawed at the floor. "Cloud! Cloud-!" He squeaked in surprise as the blond closed his teeth on the back of his neck, then purred quietly. "Mmn, _Cloud…_"

"Such a pretty leopard…" The wolf gnawed gently on the brunet's neck, then threw his head back to howl.

Leon grunted in annoyance before he turned to hiss at him. "Do you want to call someone over here? Stop broadcasting our mating!"

"At least my pack could see that I have a mate and stop bemoaning my fate of being doomed to die alone," Cloud snapped, then snarled and shoved the brunet flat onto the ground. "I'm tired of being the freak!"

"You _are_ a freak—_Ngh!_" Yowling again, Leon thrust his hips back and mewled. "Oh, yes…"

"Though I guess your pride wouldn't exactly approve of me, hmm," the blond muttered, frowning, before he snarled again. "Mine!"

The brunet squalled loudly, digging his claws into the dirt. "Yours! Yours! Nn! Harder!"

Cloud growled and nuzzled his throat gently. "I'm gonna come at this rate. I wanted to fuck you longer."

Leon turned his head to hiss at him. "Don't care! Fuck me harder!"

"Don't blame me if I want a second round before you leave then," the blond muttered, shifting his knees for a better angle.

The leopard roared. "I DON'T CARE JUST FUCK ME HARDER RIGHT NOOOOOOOOW!"

.-.-.-.-.-.

Cloud huffed. "Has anyone ever told you that you're incredibly bossy?"

The brunet continued to gently lick his chest where he'd scratched him. "Of course."

"You're lucky I find it incredibly sexy or I'd stop coming here."

"Right. Very lucky." Leon pushed the blond's hand away as it came up to touch one of the welts. "Stop that. I'm cleaning it."

The wolf huffed but merely pouted instead of doing it again to annoy him. "You didn't have to scratch me so hard!"

"Yes, I did," the brunet cooed, beginning to knead the older man's leg. "I always get to lick your wounds better. And if you're going to get your scent all over me, I'm going to put my scent all over you."

Cloud grumbled. "Rrrr, so lucky you're cute!" He couldn't help a smile as the brunet mewed proudly and hurriedly caught his hips to twist him around and roll on top of him. When the leopard blinked up at him in surprise, he smirked. "Woof."

"GAH!"

The two men immediately turned their heads, surprised, just in time to see Terk and Tarzan scrambling out. The boy tripped over something, grabbed onto his ape friend, and accidentally dragged them both into the water.

Leon frowned. "If this isn't all over the jungle by tomorrow noon, I'll be surprised."

"Hmm…" Cloud narrowed his eyes. "I'd say we should get a more private spot, but if everyone knows it, who cares?"

"You're probably right. At least people would leave this spot alone for us." The brunet sighed, then smiled and pawed at the wolf's shoulder. "One more time for the road, then. I'm sure my mother will scold me once I get back to the den, so I'd appreciate it if you'd get your scent _all_ over me, to make the yelling worthwhile."

The blond blinked at him in surprise, then threw his head back and howled happily as he settled between his mate's legs.


	24. X is for I Don't Even Know: K

X is for… I Don't Even Know

"—And I'd really like it if you'd try and move that— …Cloud, what are you doing?" Leon asked slowly, frowning, as he found his lover pouring over some maps of various worlds.

Cloud frowned thoughtfully as he looked at a different map. "I was just thinking of all of the worlds, and I realized… There's no X."

The brunet stared at him for a few moments before ordering, "Elaborate."

"There's nowhere in any of the worlds that begins with an 'X'! Or a 'Z', for that matter!" The swordsman slammed his hands down on the table in frustration. "Do you know how irksome that is!"

Leon stared at him a little longer. "…No. Could you just…" He paused, then sighed and shook his head, turning to walk away. "I'll just leave you to this, then…"

"It doesn't make any sense!" Cloud called after him. "I just want to point that out!"

"…Right…"


	25. Y is for Yuletide Hill: T

Author's Note: Let's check up on Leon and Cloud from the Jolly Lane universe, SHALL WE? **:**D

* * *

Y is for Yuletide Hill

"I made something for you!"

Cloud jerked backward as a brightly colored box was thrust toward him. When he saw it was a box wrapped in shiny red foil and topped with a green silk bow, however, he relaxed and smiled a little. "Right. It's that time of year in Christmas Town."

"Yeah. And I know I haven't been able to visit a lot, so…" Leon scratched the back of his head as the werewolf took the gift from him and opened it. "And I know you don't like coming to Christmas Town, because it's cold, and… I figured… Mrs. Claus thinks you're okay, and she likes that you eat everything she gives you, and, well… I thought… Maybe, if you were warm, you'd come visit me more often." He blushed a little. "…Maybe even spend the night with me once in a while…"

The blond blinked at him, then looked down at the thick coat in the box he'd opened. Pulling it out to examine it, he was glad to see that the feline had decorated it with blacks and silvers instead of reds and greens, and without that ridiculous white ruff, because Leon was the only one able to pull that off, really, and— Then, what he said registered, and he looked back up at the other man quickly. "Stay the night? With you? In Christmas Town?"

"I didn't think you'd want to. I know that sometimes Christmas Town makes you uncomfortable because you're used to scaring children and everything," the brunet added quietly, looking away from him.

Cloud waved his hand quickly. "No, that's not what I meant! I mean, you're… you're asking me to stay the night with you?" He couldn't help holding the jacket tighter. "Do you know what I'll try and do? I'll try to—I'll want to—and—"

"…Well, I figured that could be a possibility." Leon smiled a little and glanced up at him shyly. "I know you'll take care of me, though, and one of the other cats told me that once I start having sex, I won't want to stop, even if it hurts a little. Apparently, cats are outrageously horny, and once we're riled up, we don't want to stop until we're exhausted."

The blond whimpered a little, swallowing thickly. "…U-until you're exhausted?"

"…That's what I was told, yes." The feline frowned thoughtfully as he looked the other man up and down. "I can only hope _you_ can go that long."

"Of course I can go that long!" Cloud exclaimed, almost ready to take offense, though he realized that werewolves were better known for their scaring than their stamina—and he expected that Leon didn't know _either_ of those facts, being the sheltered kitty he was over in Christmas Town. "I'm sure I can keep you satisfied!"

Leon smiled in a way that showed his fangs off attractively, ears perking up in a manner that could only be described as 'cute'. "Okay. Is there… anything I need to do?"

The blond felt all of his blood rushing toward his groin. "…Ah… Just… Come here…"

"Myu?" The brunet tilted his head as he was pulled into the other man's arms, blushing a little when he felt something hard against his thigh. "Gah!"

Cloud growled and nuzzled his neck. "Just remember that I can make this fit."

"That's definitely going to hurt! How the hell are you going to make something like that fit?" Despite his trepidation, Leon squirmed closer and tilted his head to allow the blond more room to mark him. "Ngh…"

"It's called _stretching._ And I'll probably do some licking, too. It'll fit. Don't worry," the werewolf assured. "I know what I'm doing."

"Hmm, if you say so." The brunet purred and nuzzled his chest, then stepped back despite the werewolf's agitated growl. "I need to be getting back. I promised to help Mrs. Claus make more candy canes."

Cloud sighed. "Fine. I guess I'll see you later tonight the—"

"Candy canes!"

Leon yowled as he was tackled to the ground. "Ow!"

"Can I help you make candy canes?" Yuffie asked, grabbing the collar of his shirt and jerking him upward a little.

…Her eyes were almost insane with want. The brunet found it in his best interest to nod. "Yeah, okay. Mrs. Claus likes you enough, I guess."

The ninja-zombie-restless-spirit squealed gleefully and stood, yanking him to his feet. "Yay! Let's go!"

Leon sighed and waved. "See you later, Cloud. I'll come meet you at Yuletide Hill!"

Cloud couldn't help but feel he'd had his mate-to-be stolen from him. Then again, with Yuffie, you sort of _needed_ to learn to share.


End file.
